Archives For author

The main reason we stayed over in Albuquerque was to see the Turquoise Museum and Old Town not to mention all the tornadoes, etc. east of here!

The Turquoise Museum was quite lovely. Apparently the guide’s great-grandfather collected over two million pounds of turquoise from all over the world and someone saw the marketing opportunities of charging $10.00 to see 1/10th of it. There’s history, geology, fakes and rarest of them all. It was ninety minutes of the youngest of the male family member’s quips and knowledge. He was seventeen and had obviously been involved with this obsession his whole life.

The surprise? over 95% of the turquoise sold is not the gemstone but some altered state of a less desirable white turquoise, which is so soft that it’s like chalk. Do a little magic with oil, plastic and heat and badda-bing, you have turquoise! I’m just sayin’!

The second part of the day was to visit Old Town. It’s small and quaint compared to the much more upscale Santa Fe. I loved walking around the square with Montana and Patty.

Montana didn't want to sit down on the wall because the shrubs were too scratchy so here was her solution!

Montana didn’t want to sit down on the wall because the shrubs were too scratchy so here was her solution!

Finally, I understood her concern and showed her where to sit. She had, by this point, collected her usual audience.

Finally, I understood her concern and showed her where to sit. She had, by this point, collected her usual audience.

Pat stooped down to hug Montana for the picture (something she had NEVER done before) and it surprised Montana so much that she immediately rolled over on her back! LOL

Pat stooped down to hug Montana for the picture (something she had NEVER done before) and it surprised Montana so much that she immediately rolled over on her back! LOL

Then, they both cooperate and we get the money shot!

Then, they both cooperate and we get the money shot!

Tomorrow? Down and dirty roadin’…Albuquerque to Oklahoma City.

Happy Trails!

Not wanting to go back to Santa Fe because Ava and I had been there the summer of 2011, we chose to stay last night somewhere we’d never been before…Los Alamos. We knew the name was “familiar” but sure didn’t remember it was the hub of activity during the 1940’s known for developing the atomic bombs (a/k/a Manhattan Project), attributed to ending World War II.

I simply chose it because it wasn’t Santa Fe. I kept picturing going back into Santa Fe where Ava fell in love with New Mexico and wanted to live and, the more I tried to see me there, the more I saw all that was going to happen was to make me lose myself in my pain. That wouldn’t be fair to Patty nor to me. After all, we were taking this road trip because I needed a break from all the stress of getting Ava’s Corner ready and kicked off. I wanted views and that’s why I chose Los Alamos.

As we drove at dusk up SR 4 toward Los Alamos, I was reminded of the fifteen-foot wide road through Zion National Park! I was driving on the very precipice of a hundred-foot drop to nowhere and I was scared. I have very debilitating vertigo, which Patty didn’t know until this moment.

I kept telling Patty, “I can’t do this! Really, I can’t do this!” My stomach had a constant roller-coaster-ride-like drops as my white knuckles clung to the steering wheel as if holding the wheel tighter would stop a three thousand pound truck from going over a cliff! Somehow, it did! LOL

Patty, on the other hand, kept singing, “She’ll be comin’ ’round the mountain when she comes” while I’m suffering. I don’t even remember her singing! Finally, we got to the top and stayed in the worst Motel 6 I’ve ever stayed in. The town is cute and we even enjoyed their Christmas parade as we walked Montana, but their Motel 6 needs to be razed!

This morning, we realized we had to drive back down the way we came up. I explained to Patty that going down next to the wall is totally different from driving up next to the cliff. We pulled over for a few view shots and, before we knew it, we were safely at the bottom! We both were amazed at the time-lapse difference! It felt like a thirty-minute drive up and a ten minute drive down!

The drive down SR 4 leaving this morning

The drive down SR 4 leaving this morning

Magnificent views

Magnificent views

Did I mention snow was coming in?

Did I mention snow was coming in?

After getting to Albuquerque, we settled into our new Motel 6 and headed for the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center. It’s one of the best I’ve ever seen. I try to go into at least one every trip and this was a must.

Tomorrow, we go to the Turquoise Museum and Old Town!

We decided to stay over an extra night to rest up for the haul back to Tennessee. I’m glad Patty talked me into doing that.

Happy Trails!

I can’t resist driving through southwestern Colorado. I even considered moving there during my journey with Ava through this part of our country in 2011. We both fell in love with it but Ava wanted to move to Santa Fe and I wanted to move to SW Colorado. It would be right in the middle for me…between her and Mandy, my God Daughter, in Boulder. So, when I had a chance to go back through here  and share it with my BFF, Pat (now and forever Patty since she made the mistake of telling me of her childhood nickname), I took her the scenic route up Hwy.160 & Hwy. 84 (a real back road) and down into New Mexico on another beautiful back road Hwy. 64.

Southwestern Colorado

Southwestern Colorado

Pasture, Mountains, Sky..oh my!

Pasture, Mountains, Sky..oh my!

IMG_4796

Blues and purples

Blues and purples of New Mexico

No words...climbing up Hwy. 64 in New Mexico

No words…climbing up Hwy. 64 in New Mexico

Just had to pull off for this shot! No 80 MPH pix on this road! LOL

Just had to pull off for this shot! No 80 MPH pix on this road! LOL

After all this majestic beauty, we found ourselves in the middle of something I’d never seen before. People by the hundreds (or maybe thousands) parked FOR MILES up and down the main road of Espanola, NM (Hwy. 84) in RV’s, trucks, vans, cars, popup campers, fifth wheels excitedly awaiting something…but what?

This was toward the end of the route where the smaller vehicles were parked.

This was toward the end of the route where the smaller vehicles were parked.

As we drove, the signs put up by the police indicated an “event” and to “seek an alternative route” for which there was none for us. I just pushed through the insanity and buzz of excitement with the ferocity of a madwoman driving through Atlanta rush hour traffic. My truck is big and bad, Montana’s head out the window barking at bicycles (whose nickname is now “Killer”) and Patty’s head spinning at wonderment as we joked, laughed and couldn’t wait to find out what the big deal was.

Lo and behold, I guessed it.

IMG_4806Espanola

They were waiting for the CHRISTMAS PARADE! What a surprise! This big hoopla over a Christmas parade. I LOVE IT! I wanted to stay but there was no place to park! Every single person living in Espanola (10,000 population) came for this!

Got safely outta’ there and back to the surreal beauty of the setting sun.

How's this for dusk in New Mexico?

How’s this for dusk in New Mexico?

Sun setting New Mexico

Sun setting New Mexico

And....sunset!

And….sunset!

What an amazing day! Tomorrow, Albuquerque! Can’t wait.

Happy Trails!

We stayed in Tuba City, AZ last night in the Navajo Reservation. Ava and I had stayed there ten years ago on our spiritual quest and boy, has it ever changed since then! Now there’s commerce and restaurants! Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing between it and the turn off for Four Corners but amazing scenery. Enjoy!

Road to Four Corners

Road from Tuba City to Four Corners has nothing but great scenery!

scenery

near Monument Valley

Near Monument Valley on Hwy 160 East

Monument Valley

This is exactly what Monument Valley looks like! So cool seeing these remaining vestiges of another time.

My BFF, Pat, at Four Corners

My BFF, Pat standing on the Four Corners.

Four Corners

 

THE Four Corners

 

Montana's saying, "Can you BELIEVE this sign? What's wrong with these people? Don't they know who I am?" LOL

Montana was so upset over this sign. She couldn’t believe they would keep her from this most historic site. She’s been allowed everywhere else!

Do you see Montana is breaking her pose? WHY? Because Aunt Patty is walking toward her. It's like Montana is saying, "I forgot Aunt Pat is here too?"

Montana losing her pose because Aunt Patty is walking toward her. It’s like Montana was saying, “Hey, Grandma! I forgot Aunt Patty is here!”

Dusk at the Four Corners

Dusk at the Four Corners

Santa Fe tomorrow!

Happy Trails!

Ava and I took a spiritual journey in 2002 across the Navajo Reservation. It was a little over two years after we’d found Carl and we needed this adventure. We drove into Window Rock, explored Canyon De Chelly, Four Corners, Monument Valley, South Rim of the Grand Canyon, Flagstaff, Sedona, Petrified Forest and more in five days. It was an amazing adventure that kicked her back into play and gave her what she needed to focus on school again.

Well, it’s been ten years and my best friend, Pat, and I explored the South Rim today. I felt Ava with me all day long…as if she was saying, “Oh, remember this Mom?” Made me sweet sad. We’re even staying at the Quality Inn in Tuba City where we stopped on our way west to the Grand Canyon. This time, Pat and I are heading east…east toward Georgia. But, first we have to revisit southwest Colorado where Ava and I drooled the whole time we drove those back roads just one year ago.

So, for today, here’s our journey. A magnificent time-lapse of life.

Grand Canyon - South Rim

IMG_4736

IMG_4739

Sun dappled Canyon

Postcard gorgeous!

Where's Montana? At the Grand Canyon! She was a hit again! People coming up wanting their pictures taken with her!

Sunset over the Canyon

I have said it before and I’ll say it over and over because I’m a break the rules kinda’ girl when it comes to my retirement years…just in case there was some confusion ’bout that! I travel outside the box, write that way and, now, I’ve written a website to help Las Vegas performers and artists of all persuasions to find outlets and resources in a way that everyone says it shouldn’t be! Oh well. I was TOLD how the Home Page  was supposed to look in early April as I drove back to Las Vegas to handle Ava’s final affairs. And, as  I travelled with her small urn to the redwood forest where more was revealed and so forth as we drove through this great country into Montreal and back home again. I have followed very specific instructions. So if any of you web techies go nuts over the design, keep quiet! But if you have a valid point, I’m interested…always! And if you don’t believe in a greater power, you’re just making it harder on yourself than you need to!

So, here’s the latest. As of last weekend, we had no entertainers lined up and, as of today, we’ll be packed with a wide variety of grateful performers and artists all interested in helping to raise awareness of Vegas’s horrific suicide statistics because they have been personally touched by it in their families, friends or co-workers. All it takes is knowledge and perseverence and getting the right help in time.

This website has resources specific to bipolar, borderline personality disorder, the available facilities and other more alternative methods of healing like art, music and yoga therapy and to encourage friends and family not to be afraid of the bright light that MUST be aimed in the dark corners of brain malfunctions of this type because I think the statistics prove out more suicides result from these disorders.

My beautiful daughter wasn’t properly diagnosed as BPD until she met a psychologist, Andy, in late 2005, even though she had been seeing psychiatrist, therapists and psychologists since she was ten. However, the leading psychiatrist who handled Ava’s medications and therapy was treating her for Bipolar because that was easier. That’s my conclusion after interviewing people in the industry who automatically shove BPD’s under the rug as not being treatable. Her doctor was so highly revered in Georgia that we couldn’t get second opinions from anyone after they learned of his involvement. She had to be hospitalized to take her off the cocktail of six meds he had her taking in 2005. She continued to see him when in Atlanta and he continued to give her meds. It was the easy way out. I trusted this learned man. If you’re a parent of a bipolar or BPD child, arm yourself with knowledge. Our website provides that with links to reliable resources of information.

As this fledgling website grows, so will city speciic therapy alternatives but Ava’s Corner can be used now everywhere to work on that learning curve regardless of where you live. But for now, we want to help one family, one person, one life change for the better because of our one-stop-shopping approach to valuable information.

By the way, I’ve been “told” it will go global to buckle my seatbelt. So, watch along with me to see how it goes!

Ava’s Corner, inc. Mission Statement bears repeating:

“Ava’s Corner is a website constructed to encourage healing through creative energy shedding light into the dark corners of mental disorders. Artists of all genres can come to the Avascorner.org forum to voice their suffering through art, music, Videography, photography or poetry.

All friends or family of those suffering from brain disorders are welcome to utilize education, support tools and participate in Ava’s Corner forums.

These resources include broad scopes of therapy and self-expression to encourage loved ones to get the help they need.”

Here’s the press release that went out today.

“FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Donna Friend (404) 313-3707

avascornerorg@yahoo.com

NEW RESOURCE OFFERS HELP, SUPPORT TO CREATIVE PERFORMERS —Singer Elisa Furr, Comedian Penny Wiggins headline Dec. 2 AvasCorner.com Launch Party— Las Vegas, November 27, 2012—

On December 2, AvasCorner.com brings a much-needed suicide prevention resource to Las Vegas’s creative community, and in true Vegas style, the site launch party celebrates the performers it’s designed to support.

The site is the creative labor of Donna Friend, whose daughter Ava Kaufman committed suicide earlier this year in her Vegas home. Like so many performers, Ava—an opera singer, animal activist, and graduate of UNLV—struggled with depression and borderline personality disorder that she hid beneath a confident veneer.

“After Ava passed away, I learned that suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for people between the ages of 18 and 65,” says Friend. “I wanted Ava’s death to change that. And that’s why we’re launching Ava’s Corner.”

Members of the media are invited to attend the AvasCorner.com launch party on Sunday, December 2, 2012 at Olive Mediterranean Grill & Hookah Bar (3850 E. Sunset Rd.) from 5:00 to 9:00 p.m. RSVP to Donna Friend with your name and the name of your media outlet at avascornerorg@yahoo.com by November 30.

The website reveal and walkthrough begins at 6 p.m.; come early for appetizers and a jazz ensemble. The entertainment starts at 7 p.m., and features Ava’s friends in the Las Vegas community, including local performers singer Elisa Furr, comedian Penny Wiggins, singer Kelly Vohnn, and musician Charly Urso.

The website will offer a safe place for Las Vegas’s creative community to share their struggles through conversation and creative works, creating a support network to remind depressed or suicidal performers that they are not alone. The site also provides resources, from suicide prevention hotlines for severely depressed visitors to local listings for music and art therapy. People who suspect their friends or family may be struggling with personality disorders or depression can find information to help them better understand and support their loved ones. Members who struggle with bullying or on-the-job harassment can find support tools and resources. The heart of the site, though, is the ability to share with other people who are struggling with the same issues.

“AvasCorner.com is a safe haven, reminding its members and visitors that you are never as alone as you think you are and as Ava felt she was in her last days. That awful night, Ava couldn’t remember that hundreds of loving friends would have done anything to help her. At AvasCorner.com, you don’t have to phone a friend if you don’t want to; you can reach out to any venue on this site to find hope and comfort,” explains Friend.

Friend started work on AvasCorner.com with a small group of committed volunteers, many of whom had known her daughter in Las Vegas and, like Friend, felt inspired to build a meaningful tribute to Ava’s memory. It felt only natural to launch AvasCorner.com in Las Vegas, the city where Ava, who had battled depression for much of her life, found her “tribe” for the first time. The fact that Las Vegas residents are fifty percent more likely to commit suicide than other U.S. residents and that so many of them pursue the same creative passions Ava embraced were also factors in the decision.

“Without performers, Vegas is just another desert,” Friend says.”

Ava’s Corner Logo – her own 1993 art of the lion and the wolf. Both significant to her.

Inside of Ava’s Memorial in Las Vegas in March of this year. There were hundreds of business people, professors, performers and artists in attendance and they were all friends. You just never know who is this depressed until you’re ready to assume all is not as it seems. Ava’s death sure screamed that to all who know and love her (present tense intentional).

 

THE PRESS RELEASE WENT OUT TODAY TO LAS VEGAS AND SURROUNDING AREAS. HERE IT IS:

“FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Donna Friend (404) 313-3707 avascornerorg@yahoo.com avascorner.org

NEW RESOURCE OFFERS HELP, SUPPORT TO CREATIVE PERFORMERS

—AvasCorner.org launches December 2, 2012—Las Vegas, November 16, 2012—

When Ava Kaufman committed suicide in her Las Vegas home earlier this year, she added another name to Las Vegas’s disturbingly high suicide rate. The UNLV student and opera singer was a beloved friend and daughter, a tireless social and animal advocate, and a talented performer, but like so many of the creative people who find their way to Las Vegas, Ava was also struggling with borderline personality disorder and depression that she never shared with her friends.

“After Ava passed away, I learned that suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for people between the ages of 18 and 65,” said Donna Friend, Ava’s mother. “I wanted Ava’s death to change that. And that’s why we’re launching Ava’s Corner.”

The website, launching on December 2, offers a safe place for Las Vegas’s creative community to share their struggles through conversation and creative works, creating a support network to remind depressed or suicidal performers that they are not alone. The site also offers resources, from suicide prevention hotlines for severely depressed visitors to local listings for music and art therapy. People who suspect their friends or family may be struggling with personality disorders or depression can also find information to help them better understand and support their loved ones. Members who struggle with bullying or on-the-job harassment can find support tools and resources. The heart of the site, though, is the ability to share with other people who are struggling with the same issues.

“AvasCorner.org is a safe haven reminding its members and visitors that you are never as alone as you think you are and as Ava felt she was in her last days. That awful night, Ava couldn’t remember that hundreds of loving friends would have done anything to help her. At Avascorner.org, you don’t have to phone a friend if you don’t want to; you can reach out to any venue on this site to find hope and comfort,” explains Friend.

Friend started work on AvasCorner.org with a small group of committed workers, many of whom had known her daughter in Las Vegas and, like Friend, felt inspired to build a meaningful tribute to Ava’s memory. It felt only natural to launch AvasCorner.org in Las Vegas, the city where Ava, who had struggled with depression for much of her life, found her “tribe” for the first time. The fact that Las Vegas residents are fifty percent more likely to commit suicide than other U.S. resi- dents and that so many of them pursue the same creative passions Ava embraced were also factors in the decision.

“Without performers, Vegas is just another desert,” Friend says.

Members of the media are invited to attend the AvasCorner.org launch party on Sunday, December 2, 2012 at The Olive Mediterranean Restaurant (3850 E. Sunset Rd.) from 5:00 to 9:00 p.m. RSVP to Donna Friend with your name and the name of your media outlet at avascornerorg@yahoo.com by November 30.

Ava’s Corner logo is taken from a cut out Ava did in 1993. It’s of a wolf (on left) and a lion. Ava always connected to the wolf and, in our family, we have lionesses. It was more than appropriate for this piece of her art work to be the website’s logo.

Me and Moose! What a great time! I’m now officially rodeo ready! LOL

Had the best time riding “my” horse, Moose! A few years ago when I went with my “cousin,” Maya, to see her horse, Jessie, I noticed this white horse wo seemed so lonely and I saw in his eyes he was a keeper. Well, Maya kept him and has called him my horse ever since!

Well, I finally got to ride him today! I didn’t know that he used to be a rodeo horse and if I did, I certainly had forgotten it along with a million other things since Ava’s death. I got his history confused with Cheryl’s horse, Kailua, who used to be a trail horse.

Long story short is that Maya and I were riding in a fairly large corral and I gave Moose the signal to go faster. Well, Maya did the same thing behind me which triggered Moose’s competitive drive to beat the clock and he shot off like a rocket! The saddle wasn’t tight and the stirrups weren’t exactly right for bronco riding and I bounded all over the damn place while trying to get Moose to respect my reign commands. He wasn’t in the mood and I thought he was going to jump the fence! They couldn’t believe that I didn’t fall off! I wasn’t going down without a fight and a handful of mane!

The good news is that Moose stopped right at the fence. I didn’t know that Maya’s daughter would turn him loose to run to the gate just for fun! Geez! It was great being with them today and seeing my horse! Thanks, Maya! you made my day! Love you so much.

I guess you can say I’m rodeo ready! We’re going to the local western club for my birthday celebration next so I guess I should ride the bull! What do you think?

Yeeehaaww and giddy up!

Happy Trails!

From her Memorial service in Las Vegas

Kinda’ weird how Thanksgiving comes on the eighth month anniversary of Ava’s leaving us but it does make me pause and try to find the silver lining in the message. The easiest one to find is that a handful of dedicated individuals came together at the first calling to help build, create, engineer and formulate what is going to be an amazing tool for hurting creative people like Ava in Las Vegas (and beyond) to find comfort in knowing others who feel as they do are there listening and caring. Avascorner.org kicks off on Sunday, December 2, 2012 in Las Vegas thanks to these incredibly giving, loving, pay-it forward kinda’ folks.

The harder part in finding “thanksgiving” is the loss of my best friend and daughter who alternated from being a brilliant light in the night to the darkest of dark. But, I would take all the dark, heavy nightmare stuff back in a blink if I she were here again. Did I get exhausted and frustrated? Absolutely! But, somehow God gave this impatient person, flawed in many ways, the unconditional love that enveloped my soul in the form of my shooting star, Ava.

They say when you see a star that it’s really already gone. It’s true.

After Ava left, I stood on my deck looking up at the black velvet night sky where God placed twinkling diamonds for us to enjoy. There was one in particular that was brightly flickered in a seemingly meaningful pattern. It was, on that night, anointed Ava’s Star.

Every night since coming back home from Vegas in July, as Montana did her final “business” for the night, I would talk to the star and feel a connection with Ava. A real connection like that umbilical cord which was never severed that we both felt while she was here.

Recently, I couldn’t find her star in the sky. I knew it had taken its autumnal course away from its normal spot, but that knowledge gave me little comfort. I stood frozen as I examined the sky hoping to find Ava’s Star. My final logic (after some panic) was that it was probably too early and that I just needed to look again when it was darker.

As Montana has me trained to take her out when she rings the camel bells hanging from the door knob (that Ava gave her because who else would give a dog camel bells for Christmas to train their owner but Ava),  I took her out upon her signal. This time, the sky was black/blue velvet but I still had trouble finding Ava’s Star.

I stared at the western sky trying (in vain) to recognize the surrounding stars. I obviously was looking too high because, just then, a shooting star blazed from the spot where I was looking right down to the tree-lined horizon leading me right to it. I probably can count on my fingers how many shooting stars I’ve seen in my life…maybe even on one hand.

I proceeded to try to memorize the surrounding stars so I could find her even though she’ll be moving again.

I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to find her when I got to Vegas but now I know I just need to look westward for a shooting star. Ava, I love you forever…my very own star.

Look for Avascorner.org and I pray you will never need it nor know anyone depressed enough to need this site. However, it’ll be there waiting for the one life we hope to save.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Yep, I said Bulls ‘n Barrels! Bull riding and Barrel racing…right in my own back yard…well, almost!

After a two week depression over my daughter’s birthday I was set free when I saw a sign…BULLS&BARRELS Saturday 9-22-12! I started laughing over the concept of taking my best friend, Pat, who never has a hair out of place or ever breaks a fingernail to her first Bulls ‘n Barrels Rodeo. I actually laughed out loud! She couldn’t make it; I understandably got bumped by a visit from her grandson.

Believing in the right timing of all things, I just let it all flow. It’s something one learns somewhere around menapause if one is lucky as good things happen if you let them unfold. My dear neighbors picked me up and took me! I had the best time with them! So…here goes!

Little did I know that these guys warm up with some pretty vigorus ballet-looking moves!

Rodeo warm up!

Love that little boy’s face. Looks like he’s saying, “Ballet with spurs?”

S-T-R-E-T-C-H!

What rodeo is complete without the clowns? They’re the hardest working dudes around!

Rodeo ready!

What a view! This is what you see while you’re waiting for the bulls!

Getting on the bull!

Busy with the bulls…ready to open the gates!

Forward motion!

The ride!

Next rider getting ready!

It’s pretty darn tricky working those gates with a ton o’ pissed off bull headin’ straight for you!

There’s a bull with a rider on his back in there somewhere!

Women’s Barrel Racing winner! She tore it up!

They saved the toughest bulls for last! Wow!

Thank you Jay, Lisa and Amber! I had the best time tonight! Thank God for great neighbors and fantastic friends!

Happy Trails!