Archives for posts with tag: midlife reinvention

We stayed in Tuba City, AZ last night in the Navajo Reservation. Ava and I had stayed there ten years ago on our spiritual quest and boy, has it ever changed since then! Now there’s commerce and restaurants! Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing between it and the turn off for Four Corners but amazing scenery. Enjoy!

Road to Four Corners

Road from Tuba City to Four Corners has nothing but great scenery!

scenery

near Monument Valley

Near Monument Valley on Hwy 160 East

Monument Valley

This is exactly what Monument Valley looks like! So cool seeing these remaining vestiges of another time.

My BFF, Pat, at Four Corners

My BFF, Pat standing on the Four Corners.

Four Corners

 

THE Four Corners

 

Montana's saying, "Can you BELIEVE this sign? What's wrong with these people? Don't they know who I am?" LOL

Montana was so upset over this sign. She couldn’t believe they would keep her from this most historic site. She’s been allowed everywhere else!

Do you see Montana is breaking her pose? WHY? Because Aunt Patty is walking toward her. It's like Montana is saying, "I forgot Aunt Pat is here too?"

Montana losing her pose because Aunt Patty is walking toward her. It’s like Montana was saying, “Hey, Grandma! I forgot Aunt Patty is here!”

Dusk at the Four Corners

Dusk at the Four Corners

Santa Fe tomorrow!

Happy Trails!

Ava and I took a spiritual journey in 2002 across the Navajo Reservation. It was a little over two years after we’d found Carl and we needed this adventure. We drove into Window Rock, explored Canyon De Chelly, Four Corners, Monument Valley, South Rim of the Grand Canyon, Flagstaff, Sedona, Petrified Forest and more in five days. It was an amazing adventure that kicked her back into play and gave her what she needed to focus on school again.

Well, it’s been ten years and my best friend, Pat, and I explored the South Rim today. I felt Ava with me all day long…as if she was saying, “Oh, remember this Mom?” Made me sweet sad. We’re even staying at the Quality Inn in Tuba City where we stopped on our way west to the Grand Canyon. This time, Pat and I are heading east…east toward Georgia. But, first we have to revisit southwest Colorado where Ava and I drooled the whole time we drove those back roads just one year ago.

So, for today, here’s our journey. A magnificent time-lapse of life.

Grand Canyon - South Rim

IMG_4736

IMG_4739

Sun dappled Canyon

Postcard gorgeous!

Where's Montana? At the Grand Canyon! She was a hit again! People coming up wanting their pictures taken with her!

Sunset over the Canyon

I have said it before and I’ll say it over and over because I’m a break the rules kinda’ girl when it comes to my retirement years…just in case there was some confusion ’bout that! I travel outside the box, write that way and, now, I’ve written a website to help Las Vegas performers and artists of all persuasions to find outlets and resources in a way that everyone says it shouldn’t be! Oh well. I was TOLD how the Home Page  was supposed to look in early April as I drove back to Las Vegas to handle Ava’s final affairs. And, as  I travelled with her small urn to the redwood forest where more was revealed and so forth as we drove through this great country into Montreal and back home again. I have followed very specific instructions. So if any of you web techies go nuts over the design, keep quiet! But if you have a valid point, I’m interested…always! And if you don’t believe in a greater power, you’re just making it harder on yourself than you need to!

So, here’s the latest. As of last weekend, we had no entertainers lined up and, as of today, we’ll be packed with a wide variety of grateful performers and artists all interested in helping to raise awareness of Vegas’s horrific suicide statistics because they have been personally touched by it in their families, friends or co-workers. All it takes is knowledge and perseverence and getting the right help in time.

This website has resources specific to bipolar, borderline personality disorder, the available facilities and other more alternative methods of healing like art, music and yoga therapy and to encourage friends and family not to be afraid of the bright light that MUST be aimed in the dark corners of brain malfunctions of this type because I think the statistics prove out more suicides result from these disorders.

My beautiful daughter wasn’t properly diagnosed as BPD until she met a psychologist, Andy, in late 2005, even though she had been seeing psychiatrist, therapists and psychologists since she was ten. However, the leading psychiatrist who handled Ava’s medications and therapy was treating her for Bipolar because that was easier. That’s my conclusion after interviewing people in the industry who automatically shove BPD’s under the rug as not being treatable. Her doctor was so highly revered in Georgia that we couldn’t get second opinions from anyone after they learned of his involvement. She had to be hospitalized to take her off the cocktail of six meds he had her taking in 2005. She continued to see him when in Atlanta and he continued to give her meds. It was the easy way out. I trusted this learned man. If you’re a parent of a bipolar or BPD child, arm yourself with knowledge. Our website provides that with links to reliable resources of information.

As this fledgling website grows, so will city speciic therapy alternatives but Ava’s Corner can be used now everywhere to work on that learning curve regardless of where you live. But for now, we want to help one family, one person, one life change for the better because of our one-stop-shopping approach to valuable information.

By the way, I’ve been “told” it will go global to buckle my seatbelt. So, watch along with me to see how it goes!

Ava’s Corner, inc. Mission Statement bears repeating:

“Ava’s Corner is a website constructed to encourage healing through creative energy shedding light into the dark corners of mental disorders. Artists of all genres can come to the Avascorner.org forum to voice their suffering through art, music, Videography, photography or poetry.

All friends or family of those suffering from brain disorders are welcome to utilize education, support tools and participate in Ava’s Corner forums.

These resources include broad scopes of therapy and self-expression to encourage loved ones to get the help they need.”

Here’s the press release that went out today.

“FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Donna Friend (404) 313-3707

avascornerorg@yahoo.com

NEW RESOURCE OFFERS HELP, SUPPORT TO CREATIVE PERFORMERS —Singer Elisa Furr, Comedian Penny Wiggins headline Dec. 2 AvasCorner.com Launch Party— Las Vegas, November 27, 2012—

On December 2, AvasCorner.com brings a much-needed suicide prevention resource to Las Vegas’s creative community, and in true Vegas style, the site launch party celebrates the performers it’s designed to support.

The site is the creative labor of Donna Friend, whose daughter Ava Kaufman committed suicide earlier this year in her Vegas home. Like so many performers, Ava—an opera singer, animal activist, and graduate of UNLV—struggled with depression and borderline personality disorder that she hid beneath a confident veneer.

“After Ava passed away, I learned that suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for people between the ages of 18 and 65,” says Friend. “I wanted Ava’s death to change that. And that’s why we’re launching Ava’s Corner.”

Members of the media are invited to attend the AvasCorner.com launch party on Sunday, December 2, 2012 at Olive Mediterranean Grill & Hookah Bar (3850 E. Sunset Rd.) from 5:00 to 9:00 p.m. RSVP to Donna Friend with your name and the name of your media outlet at avascornerorg@yahoo.com by November 30.

The website reveal and walkthrough begins at 6 p.m.; come early for appetizers and a jazz ensemble. The entertainment starts at 7 p.m., and features Ava’s friends in the Las Vegas community, including local performers singer Elisa Furr, comedian Penny Wiggins, singer Kelly Vohnn, and musician Charly Urso.

The website will offer a safe place for Las Vegas’s creative community to share their struggles through conversation and creative works, creating a support network to remind depressed or suicidal performers that they are not alone. The site also provides resources, from suicide prevention hotlines for severely depressed visitors to local listings for music and art therapy. People who suspect their friends or family may be struggling with personality disorders or depression can find information to help them better understand and support their loved ones. Members who struggle with bullying or on-the-job harassment can find support tools and resources. The heart of the site, though, is the ability to share with other people who are struggling with the same issues.

“AvasCorner.com is a safe haven, reminding its members and visitors that you are never as alone as you think you are and as Ava felt she was in her last days. That awful night, Ava couldn’t remember that hundreds of loving friends would have done anything to help her. At AvasCorner.com, you don’t have to phone a friend if you don’t want to; you can reach out to any venue on this site to find hope and comfort,” explains Friend.

Friend started work on AvasCorner.com with a small group of committed volunteers, many of whom had known her daughter in Las Vegas and, like Friend, felt inspired to build a meaningful tribute to Ava’s memory. It felt only natural to launch AvasCorner.com in Las Vegas, the city where Ava, who had battled depression for much of her life, found her “tribe” for the first time. The fact that Las Vegas residents are fifty percent more likely to commit suicide than other U.S. residents and that so many of them pursue the same creative passions Ava embraced were also factors in the decision.

“Without performers, Vegas is just another desert,” Friend says.”

Ava’s Corner Logo – her own 1993 art of the lion and the wolf. Both significant to her.

Inside of Ava’s Memorial in Las Vegas in March of this year. There were hundreds of business people, professors, performers and artists in attendance and they were all friends. You just never know who is this depressed until you’re ready to assume all is not as it seems. Ava’s death sure screamed that to all who know and love her (present tense intentional).

 

THE PRESS RELEASE WENT OUT TODAY TO LAS VEGAS AND SURROUNDING AREAS. HERE IT IS:

“FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Donna Friend (404) 313-3707 avascornerorg@yahoo.com avascorner.org

NEW RESOURCE OFFERS HELP, SUPPORT TO CREATIVE PERFORMERS

—AvasCorner.org launches December 2, 2012—Las Vegas, November 16, 2012—

When Ava Kaufman committed suicide in her Las Vegas home earlier this year, she added another name to Las Vegas’s disturbingly high suicide rate. The UNLV student and opera singer was a beloved friend and daughter, a tireless social and animal advocate, and a talented performer, but like so many of the creative people who find their way to Las Vegas, Ava was also struggling with borderline personality disorder and depression that she never shared with her friends.

“After Ava passed away, I learned that suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for people between the ages of 18 and 65,” said Donna Friend, Ava’s mother. “I wanted Ava’s death to change that. And that’s why we’re launching Ava’s Corner.”

The website, launching on December 2, offers a safe place for Las Vegas’s creative community to share their struggles through conversation and creative works, creating a support network to remind depressed or suicidal performers that they are not alone. The site also offers resources, from suicide prevention hotlines for severely depressed visitors to local listings for music and art therapy. People who suspect their friends or family may be struggling with personality disorders or depression can also find information to help them better understand and support their loved ones. Members who struggle with bullying or on-the-job harassment can find support tools and resources. The heart of the site, though, is the ability to share with other people who are struggling with the same issues.

“AvasCorner.org is a safe haven reminding its members and visitors that you are never as alone as you think you are and as Ava felt she was in her last days. That awful night, Ava couldn’t remember that hundreds of loving friends would have done anything to help her. At Avascorner.org, you don’t have to phone a friend if you don’t want to; you can reach out to any venue on this site to find hope and comfort,” explains Friend.

Friend started work on AvasCorner.org with a small group of committed workers, many of whom had known her daughter in Las Vegas and, like Friend, felt inspired to build a meaningful tribute to Ava’s memory. It felt only natural to launch AvasCorner.org in Las Vegas, the city where Ava, who had struggled with depression for much of her life, found her “tribe” for the first time. The fact that Las Vegas residents are fifty percent more likely to commit suicide than other U.S. resi- dents and that so many of them pursue the same creative passions Ava embraced were also factors in the decision.

“Without performers, Vegas is just another desert,” Friend says.

Members of the media are invited to attend the AvasCorner.org launch party on Sunday, December 2, 2012 at The Olive Mediterranean Restaurant (3850 E. Sunset Rd.) from 5:00 to 9:00 p.m. RSVP to Donna Friend with your name and the name of your media outlet at avascornerorg@yahoo.com by November 30.

Ava’s Corner logo is taken from a cut out Ava did in 1993. It’s of a wolf (on left) and a lion. Ava always connected to the wolf and, in our family, we have lionesses. It was more than appropriate for this piece of her art work to be the website’s logo.

Me and Moose! What a great time! I’m now officially rodeo ready! LOL

Had the best time riding “my” horse, Moose! A few years ago when I went with my “cousin,” Maya, to see her horse, Jessie, I noticed this white horse wo seemed so lonely and I saw in his eyes he was a keeper. Well, Maya kept him and has called him my horse ever since!

Well, I finally got to ride him today! I didn’t know that he used to be a rodeo horse and if I did, I certainly had forgotten it along with a million other things since Ava’s death. I got his history confused with Cheryl’s horse, Kailua, who used to be a trail horse.

Long story short is that Maya and I were riding in a fairly large corral and I gave Moose the signal to go faster. Well, Maya did the same thing behind me which triggered Moose’s competitive drive to beat the clock and he shot off like a rocket! The saddle wasn’t tight and the stirrups weren’t exactly right for bronco riding and I bounded all over the damn place while trying to get Moose to respect my reign commands. He wasn’t in the mood and I thought he was going to jump the fence! They couldn’t believe that I didn’t fall off! I wasn’t going down without a fight and a handful of mane!

The good news is that Moose stopped right at the fence. I didn’t know that Maya’s daughter would turn him loose to run to the gate just for fun! Geez! It was great being with them today and seeing my horse! Thanks, Maya! you made my day! Love you so much.

I guess you can say I’m rodeo ready! We’re going to the local western club for my birthday celebration next so I guess I should ride the bull! What do you think?

Yeeehaaww and giddy up!

Happy Trails!

From her Memorial service in Las Vegas

Kinda’ weird how Thanksgiving comes on the eighth month anniversary of Ava’s leaving us but it does make me pause and try to find the silver lining in the message. The easiest one to find is that a handful of dedicated individuals came together at the first calling to help build, create, engineer and formulate what is going to be an amazing tool for hurting creative people like Ava in Las Vegas (and beyond) to find comfort in knowing others who feel as they do are there listening and caring. Avascorner.org kicks off on Sunday, December 2, 2012 in Las Vegas thanks to these incredibly giving, loving, pay-it forward kinda’ folks.

The harder part in finding “thanksgiving” is the loss of my best friend and daughter who alternated from being a brilliant light in the night to the darkest of dark. But, I would take all the dark, heavy nightmare stuff back in a blink if I she were here again. Did I get exhausted and frustrated? Absolutely! But, somehow God gave this impatient person, flawed in many ways, the unconditional love that enveloped my soul in the form of my shooting star, Ava.

They say when you see a star that it’s really already gone. It’s true.

After Ava left, I stood on my deck looking up at the black velvet night sky where God placed twinkling diamonds for us to enjoy. There was one in particular that was brightly flickered in a seemingly meaningful pattern. It was, on that night, anointed Ava’s Star.

Every night since coming back home from Vegas in July, as Montana did her final “business” for the night, I would talk to the star and feel a connection with Ava. A real connection like that umbilical cord which was never severed that we both felt while she was here.

Recently, I couldn’t find her star in the sky. I knew it had taken its autumnal course away from its normal spot, but that knowledge gave me little comfort. I stood frozen as I examined the sky hoping to find Ava’s Star. My final logic (after some panic) was that it was probably too early and that I just needed to look again when it was darker.

As Montana has me trained to take her out when she rings the camel bells hanging from the door knob (that Ava gave her because who else would give a dog camel bells for Christmas to train their owner but Ava),  I took her out upon her signal. This time, the sky was black/blue velvet but I still had trouble finding Ava’s Star.

I stared at the western sky trying (in vain) to recognize the surrounding stars. I obviously was looking too high because, just then, a shooting star blazed from the spot where I was looking right down to the tree-lined horizon leading me right to it. I probably can count on my fingers how many shooting stars I’ve seen in my life…maybe even on one hand.

I proceeded to try to memorize the surrounding stars so I could find her even though she’ll be moving again.

I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to find her when I got to Vegas but now I know I just need to look westward for a shooting star. Ava, I love you forever…my very own star.

Look for Avascorner.org and I pray you will never need it nor know anyone depressed enough to need this site. However, it’ll be there waiting for the one life we hope to save.

Happy Thanksgiving.

As those of you who have followed me for the last four trips out west know, I get easily cracked out on caffeine and, sometimes, I do it intentionally to go longer distances although I normally avoid it. Yesterday, I started my three-day trek to Tennessee through the back roads of  Vermont starting in Burlington (near the Canadian border) with a cup of real java. The 30 MPH meandering roads through beautiful towns and countryside were wonders for this Alice to behold. I clicked away knowing my trusty camera battery was fully charged.

Just as I got to some of the most amazing residential architecture from the late 1800’s I’ve ever seen, my camera DIED! NO! NOT NOW! But all my screaming and ranting did absolutely nothing to resuscitate the recalcitrant battery. So, I’ll try to describe what I saw and give you website addresses for the most amazing cities.

But first, let me bring you down from the Border crossing where it all started! And this time, the US Border Police didn’t ask me where my horse was! LOL Or did I forget to tell you that part? Here’s the short of it just in case I forgot to share it.

I drove across the Canadian Border to meet Mirjana and drove back across into US the same day without any comments out of the ordinary. The next day as Mirjana and I pulled up to the Canadian Border Police, he asked the usual questions about how we know each other, why we’re crossing and he sees I have Montana’s “passport” and asks, “Where’s the horse?” Mirjana and I start laughing hysterically at the insanity of the question as he looks back at the pop-up which clearly doesn’t have enough room for a horse much less lil’ old forty pound Montana! I ask through my hysteria, “Horse?” “Yes. It’s marked right here on the form that you have a dog and a horse!”

I digress, but it was funny!

I crossed the Canadian Border on Tuesday via 133 from Montreal which becomes SR 7 on the US side and pulled into Burlington (or close to it) and stayed at the Motel 6 a couple of nights to acclimate to the US. I remembered the first time Mom  traveled outside the US, she said she wanted to kiss the ground. And, although I had a wonderful time with my host and hostesses, I felt the same way. I was ready for the next phase of my healing heart tour. And, what better way to heal a heart than back roads?

I left Burlington yesterday morning around 9:30 and headed south on SR 7 and immediately found pictures everywhere!

I needed to mail a letter at the post office and this was a building across the street from it in Winooski, Vermont. It’s a tiny, charming town steeped in history.

the strip where Post Office is located in Winooski

I say “tiny” because I was in the next small town of Burlington, VT with the turn of a corner!

Burlington, VT

Look at the lacy cornice at the top of the building.

Just south of Burlington, I got onto SR 22A where I really was in for a treat. Vergennes, VT is beautiful and it’s also Vermont’s oldest town (vergennes.org). You don’t want to go more than 30 MPH because you’ll miss many beautiful buildings and houses. The most interesting part to me was the delicate lacy wood work of the cornices around the roofs of the houses.

On the way to Cornwall from Vergennes down SR 22A

Vineyards!

Clouds on mountain!

Old barns, of course!

Milk cow country for all that cheese they make in this area! It ain’t just made in Wisconsin! And, boy oh boy, you sure can smell the other by products from all those cows it’s worth the price!

Cornwall, VT

But, between towns, views…lots and lots of views.

is it a house or a barn…or both?

Talk about a “fixer upper”! They were asking $80,000 for something in THIS shape but in the middle of nowhere!

Singlewide with a view!

This town south of Vergennes in Addison County  was all white and crisp like a new white starched shirt.

the name escapes me…this is when the camera stopped working!

This town was just a little too perfect for me! Maybe that’s why I can’t remember the name!

Then the camera stopped working about the time I got onto SR 7; Bennington, VT was gorgeous.

As I was anxious to get lunch and charge the camera battery, I was looking for a place to stop. As I turned the corner in the road, there it was: Chauncey’s of Arlington.

Chauncey’s of Arlington, Arlington, VT

This is out back of the restaurant where Owner and Chef, Stanley Holton, cuts the grass.

And…there was even an old barn!

But, to really top off the amazing home cooked horseradish cheese hamburger and carrot cake like my mama used to make is the fact the owner’s mother, Lucille Holton, is quite the town celebrity. She posed for Norman Rockwell as he painted “The Babysitter!”

Sorry the quality of my picture is so bad but I just couldn’t get a good shot of it without a lot of glare. But, there she is holding the painting!

The waitress, Debbie Whitman, and I became fast friends and hugged as I left. You just won’t meet strangers in this establishment!

Now that my stomach was full and so was the battery for my camera, we could take off again! But first, I needed to go two driveways down to The Cheese House to pick up some local dark amber Vermont Maple syrup! Yum!

The Cheese House, Arlington, VT

And back to seeing beautiful houses and interesting engineering.

What the heck is that thing, anyway?

arns
Massachusetts town on SR7

Mountain views that are just stunning!

Outbuildings

Hudson River

New York mountain views

Virginia pastoral views

and…last but not least…Tennessee mountain views!

Tennessee

I’m here for a couple of days to recover from the 20 hour straight-thru drive and 4 hours of it was the first  150 miles of the journey!

Happy Trails!

 

We drove into Old Montreal to do some sightseeing. I’d forgotten how pretty it was as well as how old. One remnant of a chapel of an old hospital dates back to 1693 and it was really wonderful getting that “olde world” feeling while walking around down there. We got to see the Cirque tent and an acrobatic flyer that I’m sure was a fighter pilot from the Iraq war with way too much adrenaline. We were all frozen…mezmerized by some of the most death-defying flying I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen some pretty amazing Blue Angels flying in my day!

Remnants of the chapel which was a part of the hospital built here in 1693.

Beautiful old world feel to this area in the architecture and sculptures.

Temporary Olympic housing built over thirty years ago!

YES! THAT WOULD BE FLYING TOWARD THE GROUND! Why is it called “flying?” Because he didn’t crash! He kept cutting his engines while doing his tricks.

Street performers and shops all in this walking avenue.

Loved listening to these South American Native professionals. They were mesmerizing.

We were all invited to go to the mountain house of a good friend of Mirjana’s for the weekend. We couldn’t wait to get back into nature and enjoy the company of good people while swimming, playing with fire and just playing. Montana needed a break from all the bicycles in town, that’s for sure!

Was whisked away to the mountain chalet of a new friend. Montana and I decided to take fresh air while I had a glass of wine. After all, it was three months ago when my daughter decided to leave and I was feeling serious sadness from her. Yep, news flash. It still comes through. It did when she was alive and it still does. Nope. Not nuts. Just still have the umbilicus attached.

Fire GOOD!

By the fire.

The lake. I couldn’t believe how hot it was in the mountains! People leave the city to get cooler! OOOPPPSSS! Not this year!

Montana sure enjoyed being in the mountains! I know it looks like a man in a blue shirt is sprouting from her head but we couldn’t get him outta’ the picture and we took 20! Too funny!

Great views and great new friends.

I almost fell of the balcony when I saw this first thing this morning! How many times will you see a couch being moved down a major street of a major city hooked up to the back of a bicycle? They are a professional mover…eco friendly, that’s for sure!

We finished up the last-minute discussions about the website, to-do lists and sad goodbyes and then Montana and I hit the road again. I was so upset, I almost forgot to pick up my camper before leaving town! Thank goodness Mirjana and I are so very close that she reminded me as we got our last hugs seconds before heading out! Whew! That was a close one!

The drive down Highway 133 toward Vermont was quite a surprise to me because it was so rural. More barns and brightly painted houses and exciting views.

Love me some old barns, what can I say!

Love the character of this!

Love this rural agri-land.

Then there was this really cool looking church but I just couldn’t safely pull over to get a better shot.

And….there it was…the UNITED STATES BORDER! Whoot whoot!

Yesterday, Mirjana and I explored a section of Montreal called “Mile-End.” For Atlantans, it’s Montreal’s Little Five Points. I immediately saw a man my age (or older) with his very gray hair dyed red on top! Yep, I was finally in the right place! My gypsy-belly-dancing-opera-singing-daughter loved living in Little Five Points and she certainly felt at home in Mile-End when she was here visiting Mirjana and Una a few years ago. I loved it too and looked for her face in every passerby, at every turn and in every shop. I just knew she was there with us enjoying authentic Italian coffee at Cafe Olympico where more than forty locals sat on the shaded deck watching soccer on the big flat screen TV out of the mid-day sun.

Mirjana’s craving for a falafel pocket sandwich from what she touted as being a great little vegetarian restaurant called “The Green Panther” wasn’t exactly my idea of lunch. I’m definitely carnivorous and was drooling for a tasty fish or meat salad of some sort, but out of respect for the journey and for Ava (who loved vegetarian food), I jumped in with both feet. The sandwich wasn’t half bad! I’m not sure I’ll ever order it again but I did enjoy the experience and the company as well.

As Montreal is very French, I was quite surprised at the used bookstore and shops which appeared more English influenced than French. There were many “old friends” in the bookstore for sale. It was a welcomed relief to all the French street names and menus sans translations! Try driving in a foreign country with a TomTom faking French! LOL It’s been challenging to say the least!

As I’d wanted to have something of a more French cuisine for dessert, we decided to try a little place called “La Crepiere” at 221 rue St. Viateur Ouest owned and operated by a dedicated crepe lover, Catherine Perrot. She created such a beautiful display of my apple and caramel crepe that I wanted to take a picture of it, remembering only then that I’d left my camera behind. My only choice was to dive in, and that I did. It was light and delicious just as I’d expected. It’s a must-do when in Montreal.

We were confident that the $7.75 we’d paid into the parking meter $7.75 would certainly allow us enough time to explore two hours here, we were confident we wouldn’t get hit with their notorious  $45.00 parking ticket but we were so wrong. When we walked directly across the street to get into the car from the crepe restaurant, there it was…all red and white. What a great welcoming. I was just about over the rude drivers who blow their horns way too much (but not as much as New Yorkers…I doubt if any other city blows it like NYC) and display their aggravation at your confusion on where to turn even or that you’re walking too slowly across the pedestrian cross-walk but this was the ultimate unwelcoming.

We’d put in $2.25 and bought 45 minutes of parking. Two minutes later, we put in more money to five us more time. We went back and deposited yet more money now paying the equivalent (buy their own parking meter standards) of 3 hours 44 minutes of which we only used w hours 31 minutes. How outrageous that their parking meters do NOT give you, the customer, credit for the time already paid for into the meter such that every time you put money in, the meter starts over! WHAT A RIP OFF! In the US, you put money in, go back and add more money to the meter and get credit for funds paid. NOT HERE! Note to self, walk next time and leave truck in free parking area!

Ava singing

On a different note, I came to see Una and Mirjana in Montreal not only to help us heal from this tragic loss but to have Mirjana’s feedback and brainstorming help in the development of AvasCorner.org (see earlier blog). Mirjana (daughter-from-another-mother who was Ava’s mentor and big sister) is an accomplished international director and performer as well as having been a professor. Her artistic background coupled with a similar life experiences lends valuable insight into formulating the right format for the site. Needless to say, Mirjana has been instrumental in thinking through the structure of the website with me. Avascorner.org will help performers like my daughter during their time of crisis. Stephanie (a daughter-by-another-mother who resides in Vegas) has been my site angel who volunteered to take on the learning curve for the greater good. It’s my job to stay focused on the big picture and try to raise money for the non-profit organization to fund all I want to do to help performers. After all, they’re willing to spill their guts onto the stage every night just to entertain us.

We should support ALL variations of artistic expression whether it be poetry, painting, pantomime or pictures…it’s all art. Artists have, by nature, a sensitive side the rest of us can ignore or tune out…example…rude drivers are probably not artistic! However, it’s the sensitive ones like Ava who remind us of our humanity to hug trees and care for this earth through recycling and to spay and neuter to reduce the number of homeless or euthanized pets. They, like our artistic forefathers (Mozart, Van Gogh, Modigliani, Jackson Pollock),  contribute something valuable to our system of living and need to feel cherished and have a special need for an outlet of their passions.

And, for those artists like Ava who have mental malfunctions, they need extra understanding, love and support and that’s what we want to provide with Avascorner.org. Our goal is to provide a creative venue for self-expression, reliable websites to educate on how to combat bullying and other inappropriate work interaction, suggested places for healing through music or art and informative sites on various disorders. We also want to give reliable website addresses which provide examples of characteristics exhibited in early childhood which indicate mental malfunctions but, for obvious reasons, can’t be diagnosed until much later, as in Ava’s case. I created the expression “mental malfunctions” as that’s what Ava had. Mental illness indicates positive results from therapy or a chemical remedy, i.e., Bipolar disorders and schizophrenia can be treated with both. Borderline Personality Disorder doesn’t respond to anything but unconditional love.

I’m initiating the site’s focus in Las Vegas because that’s where my daughter performed, amassed hundreds of friends and industry connections, and where the suicide rate is 50% higher than the national average (see http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2012/may/21/remembering-dr-clarissa-engstrom-friends-and-famil/) but our long-term goal with funding and help from performance-based colleges will spread this effort worldwide. We hope to have a launching of the website and Listen Lines by the end of this year or early next winter. Our theme for the Vegas launch is: “Without performers, Vegas is just another desert.”

Happy Trails!

Since my daughter’s death, her adopted siblings have been critical in my healing process and I hope I’ve been instrumental in their’s as well. As most of her friends reside in Vegas, I was blessed with extended family the seven weeks I slept in her bed and finalized her affairs. It was always necessary for me to come to Montreal to be with another one of my daughter’s adopted siblings, Mirjana and her precious Una. And, although it’s been a bittersweet reunion, we’ve finally been able to go through a process of healing our hearts which could only be done one-on-one. It’s been remarkable. Not only have they embraced me as “mom/grandma,” they have embraced my core, grief and all by making sacrifices and extending themselves in such a way as few in this world do.

Mirjana, a very busy mother , voice teacher and performer in her own right, canceled her scheduled lessons to meet me in Niagara Falls and camp with me on our way to her home in Montreal. She has not only opened her heart but her small apartment and made me feel exceedingly welcome and comfortable.

Her boyfriend, Serge, surprised us all with a special treat. We all went camping in Charlevoix, Quebec where we camped on the banks of the St. Laurent River where it meets the ocean overlooking its rocky cliffs where whales abound. This is about that trip.

The view along the way to Charlevoix, Quebec via Quebec City

The highway view

Longest bridge I ever saw!

Beach along the way to Charlevoix!

Falls along the highway to Charlevoix!

And I thought WE had a lot of churches in the south! Quebec has us beat! As it was my only picture of a church here, I decided to included it even though it certainly isn’t a great one!

Farms with amazing views of the St. Laurent River (St. Lawrence River for those of you who don’t read French! Okay, so I’m showing off a bit!)

Where the river meets the ocean.

We stayed perched on the banks of the St. Lawrence River overlooking where it meets the ocean at Camping Spa Falaise sur Mer in St. Simeon, Charlevoix in Quebec. This facility is erroneously rated Three Stars instead of Five so it comes highly recommended by us. The owner was gracious and extended all courtesies to us above and beyond the call of duty. She even gave us two sites for the price of one. Check it out at http://www.camping-falaisesurmer.com or call 1-888638-1441. The facilities are orderly, clean and new. We really didn’t want to break camp!

Rock climbing in Charlevoix!

Can you see the rock to the left which I repelled and then had to climb back up to get to the campsite? Serge, Una and Mirjana were all quite proud of me. They didn’t know I grew up climbing. This felt awkward but totally doable especially with them cheering me on and lending a hand when needed. Montana helped too, ya’ know!

Montana on the Beach looking for rabbits, deer, squirrels, bicycles and whales? What’s a whale? LOL !

Wildflowers at the campground

On Friday, we took a road trip to Baie St. Paul, a little mountain village.

Breathtaking turns with a magnificent view perched in the middle of the turn!

Unusual architecture is very common here…no two houses the same makes the drive a welcomed relief. Even the farms vary greatly from the more traditional placing of outbuildings far from the main house to several cramped close to the home. This area of Canada had an interesting variation of architecture but it also had something I’d never seen in such abundance: red galvonized roofs and white houses with bright red trim!

Baie St. Catherine where we caught the whale cruise.

Saturday, we took a shorter trip to Baie St. Catherine to catch the whale watching cruise near Tadoussac through Cruises 2001 in Baie St. Catherine. Serge was told three times that we could take Montana on the cruise with us. When we arrived, however, we were told Montana could not go! I freaked out. There was no place to leave her and Serge had already booked the tour. The lady who was to guide us to the cruise ship graciously volunteered to take care of Montana while we were on the four-hour tour. I wasn’t comfortable leaving Montana with a stranger knowing there were horses and dogs in the back of their neighbors’ yard and, with a loose grip on the lease, Montana could take off for Europe or, with a tighter grip, take the nice lady DOWN. Of course, the nice lady didn’t speak English too well but her eyes convinced me she would love up on my puppy the whole time and I’d find her navy blue pants covered in Montana’s white fur! So, off we went.

Marina sign at boat dock

On the cruise.

There’s our first whale sighting! We even heard and saw him “blow” the water out! We were told he was a Minke whale.

The black line of turbulence is a group of seals swimming together at quite a rapid pace for thousand pound animals! If you look closely, you can see their heads out of the water. The white in the middle of them is water splashing.

We then headed toward the fjord where the Beluga Whales are found.

BELUGAS! They’re quite endangered and Atlanta shouldn’t try to keep them in their aquarium. They really don’t do well in captivity. Maybe somebody should tell them to put something in there that does! Duh!

See the white dot in the water? That’s the Beluga! There were several diving rather rapidly and were quite hard to catch on camera.

Breathtaking views

Much to my relief, as we walked off the ship, the lady who took care of Montana greeted us with how much in love she was with her and how she wanted to keep her. She told us of how Montana stayed right by her side and turned over on her back for tummy love. The nice lady was wrapped around Montana’s paw! Thank you God that Montana didn’t take off after the horse in the back!

After she finished telling us all about her time with Montana, I asked her name. It was “Angel”, of course! Their website is: www.croisieres2001.com. They were amazingly accommodating.

After the cruise, we decided to find a beach so we rambled Saguenay where there was a music festival on the beach. We took the ferry to Hotel Tadoussac and played on the beach.

Free ferry boats to Hotel Tadoussac in Saguenay.

Although I liked the idea of finding a beach, my idea was to find a deserted beach but was out voted. They wanted to go to the beach where there was a music festival in town and I pictured being trampled with hordes of drunk people. I was so wrong. The beach was lovely and not crowded at all. There was a sand art competition and Serge and I picked our favorite to be the one that looked like a forest.

Beach at Hotel Tadoussac in Saguenay

Sand art

Boats anchored right off the beach.

Marina just a few feet from the beach.

Montana playing on the beach with the rich and famous!

We went back to the campsite tired but very happy. Una and I got cracked out on Smores (Marshmellows roasted over an open fire sandwiched between dark chocolate and two graham crackers…drool…as in “I want some more!”) yet another night, showered and turned in early as Sunday was going to be full of more adventures in 600-year-old Old Quebec City (Le Vieux Quebec).

First sight of Quebec City!

Beautiful city but Old Quebec City is what we were going to see.

Old Quebec City has very steep inclines but it is worth the extra effort. This is from the park which sits below the palace and above this view. Beautiful city.

The palace above the park overlooking the structures in the pictures above.

Hotel Chateau Frontenac in Old Quebec City. Beautiful old world architecture designed by an American Architect in the late 1800’s. Winston Churchill and Franklin Roosevelt met there during the early 1940’s to discuss strategies of World War II.

Chateau Frontenac

Chateau Frontenac

And what trip would be complete without a picture of Montana? For those who don’t personally know Montana, she’s a bird dog of the English Pointer variety which means she’s a hunter. Hunting anything that moves is her passion be it squirrel, turtle, rabbit, deer or bicycle. And, as there are so many bicycles in Montreal, she’s been quite challenged keeping up with all of them.

Is that a bicycle I see over there?

We enjoyed a dessert at a cafe overlooking the old city.

We continued onto Montreal back to the apartment and Montana’s obsession with finding all the bicycles in Montreal!

We’ll stay here a few more days before heading toward Prince Edward Island to find Anne of Green Gables.

The healing heart tour continues for a few more weeks. I plan to be back at the cabin around the first weeks of July. Then, I’ll head toward Florida to see other family down there which includes my other granddaughter, Angela, who was born during this fray.

Happy Trails!