Archives for posts with tag: Baby Boomer

Once a mother, always a mother!

May 12, 2013 //

The last picture taken of the three of us in March, 1984. Twenty-eight years later, Ava was gone too in that same month.

Even though both my children are deceased, the mothering instinct, although weak at the beginning for me, became stronger than death through the daily practice over forty-six years of hands-0n caring, nurturing and loving another human being. It’s become so involuntary that it spews from your soul in turrets-like spontaneity directed at strangers and loved ones alike. I refuse to apologize for it. It is what it is.

With her beloved big brother, Carl. They loved each other so much!

I loved both of my children in their uniqueness. Both of them had a wonderful sense of humor, loved to have a good time, had an innate artistic talent which still baffles me and possessed a sensitivity to the world which made it hard for him to stay around long.

Carl loved to fish better than anything and Ava loved her brother more. Here’s Carl with his prized catfish.

Ava loved animals more than anything else. She even saved spiders from the bottom of my shoe. If she knew I was in hot pursuit of a spider, she’d run in, collect it and set it free outside.

Did I screw up in my raising him? Absolutely. Did I learn from those mistakes? Absolutely. Would I do anything differently? Absolutely. Will I love him forever? Absolutely. He was my son and there will never come a day when hearing someone talk about “their son” doesn’t cause me pain in my soul because my boy is gone. So gone that I don’t “hear” from him any more. It’s been 28 years with a count in a million seconds since he disappeared.

Although it’s been only a year since Ava left…it’s counted in milli-seconds. After all, we were connected at the hip from her birth to her death. We had an umbilical-telepathic connection which I’ve only felt with one other person in my life…my mom. We’ve been able to communicate transatlantic, transpacific or trans-life. Although she’s been quiet these last few days, I know she’s still around because when I ask Montana, “Where’s Ava?” she always looks toward the same corner (usually over my right shoulder) toward the ceiling where she first “appeared” a few months ago when my daughter-by-another-mother, Stacey, was up here visiting.

I still see her in her Rainbow Bright costume for her “Moving to Vegas party” in 2008 because she was such a fun-loving, child-at-heart blessing in my life.

Ava Rainbow Bright 2008

I’m working hard on staying focused on my 92+ year old mom’s day but couldn’t help but digress into my own space while she napped…watching “Guarding Tess.”

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Trails!

Tags Baby Boomer, children, deceased children, journaling, midlife reinvention, Mother, Mother's Day, murder, murdered child, self-exploration, suicide, Woman Baby Boomer camping alone

Categories Baby Boomer

Back roads from Florida through Georgia

April 23, 2013 //

It was wonderful being with my daughter’s dear friend of eighteen years and her precious baby who celebrated her first birthday recently. They live in Florida, and, anytime I’m on the west coast, it gives me a good excuse to go to my favorite beach. I can’t tell you the name because it’ll become my hated beach…too many people will show up and ruin it for me!

Where’s Montana? On the beach!

As I was drooling over the small black line roads everyone tries to avoid, I found a new treasure. There’s no using the GPS when you’re going back roads. It’s map all the way!

Florida back road through Three Rivers State Park. Ponds loaded with wildlife and fishing lakes.

Back roads lined with blooming bright red clover and thistle!

Lily Pads floating lazily in the ponds.

Blooming thistle.

Beautiful Spanish Moss draped oaks and mysterious dwellings tickling one’s imagination about who lives/lived there and where in the world did they work? There’s nothing for miles!

What a view!

Then you cross the Georgia State line and the terrain switches to commercial pine thickets and agricultural fields.

Fields and old houses of a different nature.

I've passed by this State Park a million times over the last 45 years of taking back roads to my favorite beach but I'd never taken the time to go to it. This time I did. Kolomoki Mounds was intriguing and I'll go back.

I’ve passed by this State Park a million times over the years of taking back roads but I’d never taken the time to go to it. This time I did. Kolomoki Mounds was intriguing and I’ll go back.

Then civilization! I just love this beautiful south Georgia town. Blakely, Georgia is so very quaint.

Driving by Quail Motel has been part of my back roads experience for over 45 years. I never see cars there!

Driving by Quail Motel has been part of my back roads experience for years. I never see cars there! Bates Motel?

At the red light near Quail Motel looking toward the square in downtown Blakely.

Early County Courthouse in Blakely, Georgia completed in 1905.

Early County shows off their history on the side of their downtown buildings.

And the last thing you see as you leave Blakely, is beautiful roses planted along the sidewalks instead of trees! They were in full bloom!

Even though I’ve traversed this route for many years, I never get tired of the quaint small town feel as you weave around the squares and watch the locals chatting as they walk along the sidewalks. It’s just southern and I’ll continue celebrating my history and the joys my parents gave me by taking me on this roads as a child.

Happy trails!

Tags Baby Boomer, back roads, Beach, Blakely, Florida, Florida back roads, Georgia, Georgia back roads, midlife reinvention, self-exploration, woman traveling alone

Categories Baby Boomer, life adventures, southeast

Already a year? How is that possible?

April 8, 2013 //

The last photo taken of Ava and me when we were on our camping trip summer, 2011.

How is it possible for time to crawl in microsecond intervals during that first year of loss of your child yet fly with the speed of light?

It was twelve months ago, almost to the day when I first started writing this blog. A year ago, I felt as if I was a part of the “Bodies” exhibit where all the skin has been stripped from my body. To say I was raw, vulnerable, humbled and in great pain is an understatement. Yes, Ava was my only daughter and only surviving child but she was my best friend in the whole world. We shared secrets to the very end. I had every expectation to believe she would be there the next morning when I called her to tell her I loved her even though she’d promised to not fail on her next attempted suicide.

For her whole life, she struggled to get the confidence she needed to live a happy life through numerous therapists, psychiatrists, physicians, therapists (both group and individual), food modifications, purification, yoga, cleansing, books, education, medications, relationships and family but there just was never enough love, support or positive direction for her insatiable appetite which was conjoined with her innate fascination with death and fatalistic nature.

She was consistently misdiagnosed by some of the most prominent psychiatrists in Atlanta whose only directive was to keep giving her a cocktail of drugs hoping it would help her instead doing a better job of digging deeper into who she was to find the truth. A “mere” therapist was able to pinpoint her BPD in 2005. His diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) hit the nail on the head…one which has no magic pill and only the intense Dialectical therapy to help cope with the symptoms.

No psychiatrist took the effort to get past her veneer to see the truth under the surface. If it had been their child, would they have treated her the same?

The problem was that there was no research for this brain malfunction (as I term it) readily available until more recent years. A little too little too late. From my understanding, it wasn’t a popular brain malfunction to receive funding for so the woman who did the most groundbreaking research on it had to slant her research toward the Bipolar side of this very complex disorder. BPD can include combinations of other brain malfunctions including Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Bipolar Disorder [both I and II] (BD) and Narcissism, just to name a few. People with BPD typically have severe separation anxiety, very sensitive, intelligent, artistic and musically inclined.. To say they don’t detach easily from failed relationships is a gross understatement. Ava exhibited all of these characteristics from day one yet only ONE professional dug deep enough to recognize the complexities of her brain malfunctions and name it. Yep. I’d say the mental health care system chronically failed us.

AVA’S STORY:

Newborn Ava holding her head up at birth!

Minutes old Ava began this world by doing a push-up and turning her head from side-to-side as if complaining about the process she’d just been subjected to, the bright lights or all of it. She was immediately expressive…her face, her highest-possible-pitch screams (Lord, yes, her C above high C), her grunts, arm gestures and more. She’d scream like I was killing her when I’d wash her hair and would go into full blown panic attacks when I stepped out of her sight and into the shower. Her sleep patterns were never normal and I now believe she may have also had autism and dyslexia.

The second they brought her to me in the hospital, I worked hard trying to find patterns which triggered her strange behavior. For example, I thought she was afraid of the sound of the shower until I took her into it with me out of desperation and she loved it! That’s when I realized it was being away from me which triggered her full-blown panic attack. She was six days old. I asked the pediatrician and he said I was spoiling her. I was outraged with his stupidity and he was a highly recognized doctor! I was spoiling a six-day-old baby by feeding and changing her. I knew I was on my own.

Ava always wanted to be sitting up…from birth…only relaxing when nursing. Once she was strong enough, I’d prop her up with pillows, sheets and anything else in an upright position just to gain time to do two-handed chores as I soon figured out that I had to carry her on my hip. One afternoon, six-week-old Ava was so propped in her swing watching the Muppet Show on in the next room while I cooked dinner. Ava laughed out loud! I ran into see if there was something wrong. She was deeply engrossed in their antics kicking and laughing! All I could think was, “Thank goodness! I found something that makes her happy!”

Happy Baby is a sleeping baby. I always thought this should be a mattress commercial.

She was born loving animals (especially cats) and her big brother, Carl.

Her dad brought home a kitten we named Tigger (that’s T-I-double GOO-ER, thank you). As Tigger sauntered through his domain, Ava, sitting in her walker, squealed in delight as she reached out for his tail. It wasn’t until her second fall season while learning to jump in leaf piles that she mastered the art of kitten capture and torture! This was another stray kitten her father brought home for us to find a home for. He ended up moving next door.

She had an innate love for cats…and cat torture!

Ava ruled the world and we let her. She was good at it. She would never be ignored…EVER!

She certainly had her own way of not being ignored! I was taking classes at GSU and had just gotten home…exhausted…when she decided I’d been away too long!

She always had her own sense of style from the minute she could sit by herself and figure out where things were supposed to go. If I dressed her in something she didn’t want to wear…off it came…even at six months old!

This day, she decided her dad’s shoes were just what she needed to complete her ensemble. She wasn’t walking yet but that didn’t matter!

When Ava wouldn’t go to sleep, we would put her on the back of my bicycle and take turns riding around our neighborhood to get her to fall asleep. Worked like a charm every time. It was Carl’s turn this night! She was thrilled to have him at the helm. She just laughed and played until I took the reins.

With her beloved big brother, Carl. They loved each other so much!

Carl loved torturing Ava as much as Ava loved torturing the cats. She understood his teasing before she could speak and giggled when he’d say those magic words…his magic words which always got her going. If he had food, she would push her walker with the tip of her toes (she was still very little) over to him and say, “I onna bi bi.” Translated, “I want a bite bite.” Carl turned it around and said back to her (every time), “You want a butt bite?” He’d pick her up and give her a big, loving brother nibble on her diaper clad bottom and she’d squeal with delight. As I said, they had their own language and love…one beyond time and earthly space.

When Ava was just six years old, her eighteen-year-old brother, Carl, disappeared without a trace.

This was the last picture ever taken of the three of us…March, 1984. Poignant, huh?

The loss of him in her life totally devastated her. The last time she saw him was his eighteenth birthday. We had a little party. He was angry at life and took it out on his grandmother. He walked out the door in a rage. Ava went to tell him she loved him but hesitated. He drove off and she never got to tell him. She was sure he would have never left had he known how much she loved him. She was eight years old when she told me this. No amount of love or assurances could get her to change her mind about the powers she thought she had over life and death.

We didn’t know for fifteen years what had happened to him. Those fifteen years were full of an emptiness that neither one of us could do anything about no matter how hard we tried.

Carl came to us both in dreams within a couple of days of each other in early September, 1999…fifteen years after his disappearance. We were torn with joy of knowing what had happened but ripped to shreds after learning of his murder. She had always secretly thought I’d made him mad that last day she’d seen him and that he was staying away from us because of me. Even though her adult mind understood, her six-year-old self just couldn’t grasp her reality any other way.

Ava secretly planted this gardenia in Carl’s memory at our house after finding him. She was 22. When we sold the house, we moved the plant to my mom’s where it still thrives.

It was right after this picture was taken that Ava attempted her first serious suicide. The others were just warm-ups to this one. It was 2000 and I My instincts screamed to me that night to rush over to the house. I found her overdosed and watching “Titanic.” She lied about the number of pills she had taken. I couldn’t find a single hospital to take her because it was mental anguish she suffered from and not physical. She didn’t have insurance. She was too old to be included on my coverage at work even though she was still my dependent. My boyfriend helped me take her with us. We put a mattress on the floor in his living room and I stayed with my hand on her chest until she woke up thirty-six hours later. When she awoke, she said, “I guess it’s meant for me to be alive because I sure took enough to die.” She asked me to re-tell that event to her several times over the coming years including that day…that final day when she decided to leave.

Ava was beautiful, loved, talented, intelligent, diverse, embracing, courageous, loyal, loving, best friend you could ever have and yet, she never felt loved, lovable or wanted.

When she was in Graz 2011 studying, she went to the Presidential Palace. This peacock recognized her beauty and flirted with her immediately. Every animal felt like he did. They all recognized her embracing spirit.

When she was in Graz, Austria in 2011 studying, she went to the Presidential Palace. This peacock recognized her beauty and flirted with her immediately. Every animal felt like he did. They all recognized her embracing spirit.

You bottled up ALL your pain and kept them safe from us, yes even me,
And only let them out a little at a time for the world to see.
We thought, at those times, it was pure insanity.
But it wasn’t…it was pure humanity.

EVERY hurt stayed alive bottled up inside
And, when remembered, would all collide.
That’s what happened that fateful night…
They all came to life in your sight.
They collided and couldn’t be contained
So only your empty body was all that remained.

Now I search every day of my life
For all your hurt and all your strife.
I want to remember each and every one
Because they are a part of what made you done.
I love you dear daughter, o’ heart of mine,
I want you here so I don’t need to rewind.

I want to see you dancing in the rain,
Getting out all your pain
See you laughing in the sun
And playing on the beach having fun
Yep, I need all these things to be
And not these ashes next to me.

For more reliable information on Borderline Personality Disorder, visit these two sites: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=967Ckat7f98 and http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml.

There are no words for the tsunami of pain and loss which consumes you when you lose a child especially to murder and suicide. It’s our goal at Ava’s Corner, Inc. (a Georgia non-profit corporation/501(c)3 application submitted) to give alternative therapies (yoga, message, art, music, physical, homeopathic, etc.) as well as a safe place for people like Ava to create a support cyber-community where one can express pain without disdain or bullying. Ava had a loving community but no one same me knew she was suicidal. It takes a village.

http://avascorner.org

To do that, we must have funds to provide full-time monitoring to prevent inappropriate dialogue and posts as well as additional programs, web space and personnel. We have starting a fund raising campaign at Indiegogo.com.

Please visit our campaign and search your heart. We need your support for this very important effort to help our friends, family and loved ones to find alternatives to taking their own lives.

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/371903?key=da3b5d9b602c202ff2dc3776e3f49817b6b6ae56

Tags 501(c)3, Ava, Ava's Corner, Avascorner.org, Baby Boomer, bullying, child suicide, cyber-community, daughter suicide, fundraising, grieving, healing, Inc., Indiegogo.com, midlife reinvention, non-profit corporation, self expression, suicide, suicide prevention

Categories Baby Boomer, family

Ava’s Corner has always been a greater power’s project!

November 29, 2012 //

I have said it before and I’ll say it over and over because I’m a break the rules kinda’ girl when it comes to my retirement years…just in case there was some confusion ’bout that! I travel outside the box, write that way and, now, I’ve written a website to help Las Vegas performers and artists of all persuasions to find outlets and resources in a way that everyone says it shouldn’t be! Oh well. I was TOLD how the Home Page was supposed to look in early April as I drove back to Las Vegas to handle Ava’s final affairs. And, as I travelled with her small urn to the redwood forest where more was revealed and so forth as we drove through this great country into Montreal and back home again. I have followed very specific instructions. So if any of you web techies go nuts over the design, keep quiet! But if you have a valid point, I’m interested…always! And if you don’t believe in a greater power, you’re just making it harder on yourself than you need to!

So, here’s the latest. As of last weekend, we had no entertainers lined up and, as of today, we’ll be packed with a wide variety of grateful performers and artists all interested in helping to raise awareness of Vegas’s horrific suicide statistics because they have been personally touched by it in their families, friends or co-workers. All it takes is knowledge and perseverence and getting the right help in time.

This website has resources specific to bipolar, borderline personality disorder, the available facilities and other more alternative methods of healing like art, music and yoga therapy and to encourage friends and family not to be afraid of the bright light that MUST be aimed in the dark corners of brain malfunctions of this type because I think the statistics prove out more suicides result from these disorders.

My beautiful daughter wasn’t properly diagnosed as BPD until she met a psychologist, Andy, in late 2005, even though she had been seeing psychiatrist, therapists and psychologists since she was ten. However, the leading psychiatrist who handled Ava’s medications and therapy was treating her for Bipolar because that was easier. That’s my conclusion after interviewing people in the industry who automatically shove BPD’s under the rug as not being treatable. Her doctor was so highly revered in Georgia that we couldn’t get second opinions from anyone after they learned of his involvement. She had to be hospitalized to take her off the cocktail of six meds he had her taking in 2005. She continued to see him when in Atlanta and he continued to give her meds. It was the easy way out. I trusted this learned man. If you’re a parent of a bipolar or BPD child, arm yourself with knowledge. Our website provides that with links to reliable resources of information.

As this fledgling website grows, so will city speciic therapy alternatives but Ava’s Corner can be used now everywhere to work on that learning curve regardless of where you live. But for now, we want to help one family, one person, one life change for the better because of our one-stop-shopping approach to valuable information.

By the way, I’ve been “told” it will go global to buckle my seatbelt. So, watch along with me to see how it goes!

Ava’s Corner, inc. Mission Statement bears repeating:

“Ava’s Corner is a website constructed to encourage healing through creative energy shedding light into the dark corners of mental disorders. Artists of all genres can come to the Avascorner.org forum to voice their suffering through art, music, Videography, photography or poetry.

All friends or family of those suffering from brain disorders are welcome to utilize education, support tools and participate in Ava’s Corner forums.

These resources include broad scopes of therapy and self-expression to encourage loved ones to get the help they need.”

Here’s the press release that went out today.

“FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Donna Friend (404) 313-3707

avascornerorg@yahoo.com

NEW RESOURCE OFFERS HELP, SUPPORT TO CREATIVE PERFORMERS —Singer Elisa Furr, Comedian Penny Wiggins headline Dec. 2 AvasCorner.com Launch Party— Las Vegas, November 27, 2012—

On December 2, AvasCorner.com brings a much-needed suicide prevention resource to Las Vegas’s creative community, and in true Vegas style, the site launch party celebrates the performers it’s designed to support.

The site is the creative labor of Donna Friend, whose daughter Ava Kaufman committed suicide earlier this year in her Vegas home. Like so many performers, Ava—an opera singer, animal activist, and graduate of UNLV—struggled with depression and borderline personality disorder that she hid beneath a confident veneer.

“After Ava passed away, I learned that suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for people between the ages of 18 and 65,” says Friend. “I wanted Ava’s death to change that. And that’s why we’re launching Ava’s Corner.”

Members of the media are invited to attend the AvasCorner.com launch party on Sunday, December 2, 2012 at Olive Mediterranean Grill & Hookah Bar (3850 E. Sunset Rd.) from 5:00 to 9:00 p.m. RSVP to Donna Friend with your name and the name of your media outlet at avascornerorg@yahoo.com by November 30.

The website reveal and walkthrough begins at 6 p.m.; come early for appetizers and a jazz ensemble. The entertainment starts at 7 p.m., and features Ava’s friends in the Las Vegas community, including local performers singer Elisa Furr, comedian Penny Wiggins, singer Kelly Vohnn, and musician Charly Urso.

The website will offer a safe place for Las Vegas’s creative community to share their struggles through conversation and creative works, creating a support network to remind depressed or suicidal performers that they are not alone. The site also provides resources, from suicide prevention hotlines for severely depressed visitors to local listings for music and art therapy. People who suspect their friends or family may be struggling with personality disorders or depression can find information to help them better understand and support their loved ones. Members who struggle with bullying or on-the-job harassment can find support tools and resources. The heart of the site, though, is the ability to share with other people who are struggling with the same issues.

“AvasCorner.com is a safe haven, reminding its members and visitors that you are never as alone as you think you are and as Ava felt she was in her last days. That awful night, Ava couldn’t remember that hundreds of loving friends would have done anything to help her. At AvasCorner.com, you don’t have to phone a friend if you don’t want to; you can reach out to any venue on this site to find hope and comfort,” explains Friend.

Friend started work on AvasCorner.com with a small group of committed volunteers, many of whom had known her daughter in Las Vegas and, like Friend, felt inspired to build a meaningful tribute to Ava’s memory. It felt only natural to launch AvasCorner.com in Las Vegas, the city where Ava, who had battled depression for much of her life, found her “tribe” for the first time. The fact that Las Vegas residents are fifty percent more likely to commit suicide than other U.S. residents and that so many of them pursue the same creative passions Ava embraced were also factors in the decision.

“Without performers, Vegas is just another desert,” Friend says.”

Ava’s Corner Logo – her own 1993 art of the lion and the wolf. Both significant to her.

Tags Baby Boomer, Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, Las Vegas, mental health, midlife reinvention, Nevada, suicide

Categories Baby Boomer, life adventures, parenting

Yeeeehaaww and giddy up!

November 17, 2012 //

Me and Moose! What a great time! I’m now officially rodeo ready! LOL

Had the best time riding “my” horse, Moose! A few years ago when I went with my “cousin,” Maya, to see her horse, Jessie, I noticed this white horse wo seemed so lonely and I saw in his eyes he was a keeper. Well, Maya kept him and has called him my horse ever since!

Well, I finally got to ride him today! I didn’t know that he used to be a rodeo horse and if I did, I certainly had forgotten it along with a million other things since Ava’s death. I got his history confused with Cheryl’s horse, Kailua, who used to be a trail horse.

Long story short is that Maya and I were riding in a fairly large corral and I gave Moose the signal to go faster. Well, Maya did the same thing behind me which triggered Moose’s competitive drive to beat the clock and he shot off like a rocket! The saddle wasn’t tight and the stirrups weren’t exactly right for bronco riding and I bounded all over the damn place while trying to get Moose to respect my reign commands. He wasn’t in the mood and I thought he was going to jump the fence! They couldn’t believe that I didn’t fall off! I wasn’t going down without a fight and a handful of mane!

The good news is that Moose stopped right at the fence. I didn’t know that Maya’s daughter would turn him loose to run to the gate just for fun! Geez! It was great being with them today and seeing my horse! Thanks, Maya! you made my day! Love you so much.

I guess you can say I’m rodeo ready! We’re going to the local western club for my birthday celebration next so I guess I should ride the bull! What do you think?

Yeeehaaww and giddy up!

Happy Trails!

Tags Baby Boomer, horseback riding, midlife reinvention, self-exploration, single female travel, woman traveling alone

Categories Baby Boomer, life adventures

Back roads of Vermont then interstate to Tennessee

June 29, 2012 //

As those of you who have followed me for the last four trips out west know, I get easily cracked out on caffeine and, sometimes, I do it intentionally to go longer distances although I normally avoid it. Yesterday, I started my three-day trek to Tennessee through the back roads of Vermont starting in Burlington (near the Canadian border) with a cup of real java. The 30 MPH meandering roads through beautiful towns and countryside were wonders for this Alice to behold. I clicked away knowing my trusty camera battery was fully charged.

Just as I got to some of the most amazing residential architecture from the late 1800’s I’ve ever seen, my camera DIED! NO! NOT NOW! But all my screaming and ranting did absolutely nothing to resuscitate the recalcitrant battery. So, I’ll try to describe what I saw and give you website addresses for the most amazing cities.

But first, let me bring you down from the Border crossing where it all started! And this time, the US Border Police didn’t ask me where my horse was! LOL Or did I forget to tell you that part? Here’s the short of it just in case I forgot to share it.

I drove across the Canadian Border to meet Mirjana and drove back across into US the same day without any comments out of the ordinary. The next day as Mirjana and I pulled up to the Canadian Border Police, he asked the usual questions about how we know each other, why we’re crossing and he sees I have Montana’s “passport” and asks, “Where’s the horse?” Mirjana and I start laughing hysterically at the insanity of the question as he looks back at the pop-up which clearly doesn’t have enough room for a horse much less lil’ old forty pound Montana! I ask through my hysteria, “Horse?” “Yes. It’s marked right here on the form that you have a dog and a horse!”

I digress, but it was funny!

I crossed the Canadian Border on Tuesday via 133 from Montreal which becomes SR 7 on the US side and pulled into Burlington (or close to it) and stayed at the Motel 6 a couple of nights to acclimate to the US. I remembered the first time Mom traveled outside the US, she said she wanted to kiss the ground. And, although I had a wonderful time with my host and hostesses, I felt the same way. I was ready for the next phase of my healing heart tour. And, what better way to heal a heart than back roads?

I left Burlington yesterday morning around 9:30 and headed south on SR 7 and immediately found pictures everywhere!

I needed to mail a letter at the post office and this was a building across the street from it in Winooski, Vermont. It’s a tiny, charming town steeped in history.

the strip where Post Office is located in Winooski

I say “tiny” because I was in the next small town of Burlington, VT with the turn of a corner!

Burlington, VT

Look at the lacy cornice at the top of the building.

Just south of Burlington, I got onto SR 22A where I really was in for a treat. Vergennes, VT is beautiful and it’s also Vermont’s oldest town (vergennes.org). You don’t want to go more than 30 MPH because you’ll miss many beautiful buildings and houses. The most interesting part to me was the delicate lacy wood work of the cornices around the roofs of the houses.

On the way to Cornwall from Vergennes down SR 22A

Vineyards!

Clouds on mountain!

Old barns, of course!

Milk cow country for all that cheese they make in this area! It ain’t just made in Wisconsin! And, boy oh boy, you sure can smell the other by products from all those cows it’s worth the price!

Cornwall, VT

But, between towns, views…lots and lots of views.

is it a house or a barn…or both?

Talk about a “fixer upper”! They were asking $80,000 for something in THIS shape but in the middle of nowhere!

Singlewide with a view!

This town south of Vergennes in Addison County was all white and crisp like a new white starched shirt.

the name escapes me…this is when the camera stopped working!

This town was just a little too perfect for me! Maybe that’s why I can’t remember the name!

Then the camera stopped working about the time I got onto SR 7; Bennington, VT was gorgeous.

As I was anxious to get lunch and charge the camera battery, I was looking for a place to stop. As I turned the corner in the road, there it was: Chauncey’s of Arlington.

Chauncey’s of Arlington, Arlington, VT

This is out back of the restaurant where Owner and Chef, Stanley Holton, cuts the grass.

And…there was even an old barn!

But, to really top off the amazing home cooked horseradish cheese hamburger and carrot cake like my mama used to make is the fact the owner’s mother, Lucille Holton, is quite the town celebrity. She posed for Norman Rockwell as he painted “The Babysitter!”

Sorry the quality of my picture is so bad but I just couldn’t get a good shot of it without a lot of glare. But, there she is holding the painting!

The waitress, Debbie Whitman, and I became fast friends and hugged as I left. You just won’t meet strangers in this establishment!

Now that my stomach was full and so was the battery for my camera, we could take off again! But first, I needed to go two driveways down to The Cheese House to pick up some local dark amber Vermont Maple syrup! Yum!

The Cheese House, Arlington, VT

And back to seeing beautiful houses and interesting engineering.

What the heck is that thing, anyway?

arns: Massachusetts town on SR7

Mountain views that are just stunning!

Outbuildings

Hudson River

New York mountain views

Virginia pastoral views

and…last but not least…Tennessee mountain views!

Tennessee

I’m here for a couple of days to recover from the 20 hour straight-thru drive and 4 hours of it was the first 150 miles of the journey!

Happy Trails!

Tags architecture, Arlington, Baby Boomer, back roads, barns, camping cross-country, Hudson River, midlife reinvention, New York, pop-up camping, self-exploration, Tennessee, Vermont, Wanooski

Categories Baby Boomer, northeast, travel, United States

Old Montreal and new friends

June 26, 2012 //

We drove into Old Montreal to do some sightseeing. I’d forgotten how pretty it was as well as how old. One remnant of a chapel of an old hospital dates back to 1693 and it was really wonderful getting that “olde world” feeling while walking around down there. We got to see the Cirque tent and an acrobatic flyer that I’m sure was a fighter pilot from the Iraq war with way too much adrenaline. We were all frozen…mezmerized by some of the most death-defying flying I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen some pretty amazing Blue Angels flying in my day!

Remnants of the chapel which was a part of the hospital built here in 1693.

Beautiful old world feel to this area in the architecture and sculptures.

Temporary Olympic housing built over thirty years ago!

YES! THAT WOULD BE FLYING TOWARD THE GROUND! Why is it called “flying?” Because he didn’t crash! He kept cutting his engines while doing his tricks.

Street performers and shops all in this walking avenue.

Loved listening to these South American Native professionals. They were mesmerizing.

We were all invited to go to the mountain house of a good friend of Mirjana’s for the weekend. We couldn’t wait to get back into nature and enjoy the company of good people while swimming, playing with fire and just playing. Montana needed a break from all the bicycles in town, that’s for sure!

Was whisked away to the mountain chalet of a new friend. Montana and I decided to take fresh air while I had a glass of wine. After all, it was three months ago when my daughter decided to leave and I was feeling serious sadness from her. Yep, news flash. It still comes through. It did when she was alive and it still does. Nope. Not nuts. Just still have the umbilicus attached.

Fire GOOD!

By the fire.

The lake. I couldn’t believe how hot it was in the mountains! People leave the city to get cooler! OOOPPPSSS! Not this year!

Montana sure enjoyed being in the mountains! I know it looks like a man in a blue shirt is sprouting from her head but we couldn’t get him outta’ the picture and we took 20! Too funny!

Great views and great new friends.

I almost fell of the balcony when I saw this first thing this morning! How many times will you see a couch being moved down a major street of a major city hooked up to the back of a bicycle? They are a professional mover…eco friendly, that’s for sure!

We finished up the last-minute discussions about the website, to-do lists and sad goodbyes and then Montana and I hit the road again. I was so upset, I almost forgot to pick up my camper before leaving town! Thank goodness Mirjana and I are so very close that she reminded me as we got our last hugs seconds before heading out! Whew! That was a close one!

The drive down Highway 133 toward Vermont was quite a surprise to me because it was so rural. More barns and brightly painted houses and exciting views.

Love me some old barns, what can I say!

Love the character of this!

Love this rural agri-land.

Then there was this really cool looking church but I just couldn’t safely pull over to get a better shot.

And….there it was…the UNITED STATES BORDER! Whoot whoot!

Tags Baby Boomer, back roads, Canada, midlife reinvention, Montreal, mountains, Old Montreal, pop-up camping, self-exploration

Categories Baby Boomer, Canada

Drive through the Adirondacks to Montreal, QC

June 13, 2012 //

The prettiest part of the drive through the Adirondacks on SR 3 was east of Tupper Lake, NY because there were streams, old barns, old houses, lakes, lots of thick, lush natural evergreens looking a great deal like Christmas trees all growing wild along the road with mountains!

A lake village

Lake views

General Store circa 1904

Mountain views

Streams!

Old barns!

Interesting old buildings

We drove into a storm when we reached Montreal after driving over six hours. Of course, the bad weather increased as did the bumper-to-bumper traffic as we proceeded toward Quebec to store my pop-up for a couple of days. I was soaked to the bone after detaching it and jumping in and out of the truck a dozen times and exhausted on all levels! Mirjana and I were running behind schedule for getting Una’s performance on time. As true, devoted moms, we walked furiously toward Una’s school in the pouring rain. Montana and I turned back toward the apartment to unload “stuff”.

After we got settled down for the night, I noticed Montana curled up. As I took her picture, it was if she said, “Don’t even think about waking me up!”

DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

Today, Una and I walked around her neighborhood in a burb of Montreal which reminds me a great deal of the area of New York City where I was in December. This area, however, is prettier and more manicured as they’re not apartment buildings…they’re homes with common walls (townhouses) built as long ago the late 1800’s.

Tomorrow we ALL go and site-see in Quebec City on our way to Charlevoix to camp ON the beach of the St. Laurence River where its fresh water meets the ocean; we’re guaranteed to see whales! BOY, am I excited! I’m slowing coming back to life with all the wonderful love and support from all over the US and Canada. I’m so blessed. Ava really hooked me up with wonderful chirrens!

More to come!

Happy Trails!

Tags Baby Boomer, camping cross-country, Canada, midlife reinvention, Montreal, self-exploration

Categories Baby Boomer, Canada, travel

Adirondacks via backroads

June 12, 2012 //

We toughed out the tollways from Niagara Falls to get to the good part which starts in Watertown, NY. Mirjana focused right away on a little town on SR 3 called Tupper Lake, NY but because it would add another two hours onto our drive I really wanted to find a place in Watertown. I’d never heard of Watertown and was sure we’d be able to find something affordable. NOT! Every place we called was over $100 just to sleep! I’m getting beyond tired as I hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before and just wanted a shower and a bed but not at such outrageous prices in a noname town.

SR 3 has lots of little lake communities along the route.

Beautiful!

Then we saw the Adirondacks!

Mirjana focused again on Tupper Lake. She went on hotels.petswelcome.com and searched Tupper Lake, NY and found a wonderful Mom and Pop place called Park Motel and Cabins, 336 Park Street, Tupper Lake, NY (www.parkmotelandcabins.com). It’s a quaint lake town which reminds me where I live in the mountains but bigger and a great deal more developed. This motel has probably been around since the 50’s or 60’s but is so well-kept and the proprietors are very friendly, keeping that homey atmosphere you look for when traveling long distances and are over tired. The price was very reasonable as well.

The Park Motel office.

We were very hungry as we’d just smacked the last two days. The proprietor called a local restaurant and confirmed their hours. We drove a couple of blocks down to Little Italy Restaurante & Pizzeria where we found friendly greetings and healthy, fresh food. It’s a must if you’re ever in the vicinity.

Now we’re off to Montreal to go camping and dancing by the fire like gypsies in the moonlight! Boy, do I ever need that!

Happy Trails!

Tags Adirondacks, Baby Boomer, camping cross-country, midlife reinvention, New York, pop-up camping, self-exploration, Tupper Lake

Categories Baby Boomer, northeast, travel, United States

NIAGARA FALLS, NY THE OTHER SIDE!

June 11, 2012 //

I FOUND THE REAL NIAGARA FALLS! It’s on the other side of the border! LOL Here goes! I TOTALLY apologize to Canada for saying their side of the Falls wasn’t as good as the American side. However, I will say the American side is all about nature and the park because their views really aren’t as magnificent without hiking down into the bowls of the falls as the Canadian side is from the curb. The Canadians have created a Vegas-like party atmosphere which irritates me because the nature of the Falls is so gorgeous that having all that neon seems to dilute the natural experience. So, for view, drive over the border, for a hike stay on the US side, for glitz and bawdy-hawdy cross the border, for dog friendly park stay in US as Canada’s side is so NOT dog friendly!

There they are! They’re on the Canadian side! LOL

Horseshoe Falls

Then we saw the Maid of the Mist boat drive right into the rainbow!

We were greeted with a complete rainbow into Horseshoe Falls!

Montana even got into the rainbow! She stopped traffic with her posing! Everyone wanted to take pictures of my Hollywood movie star Crazy Lil White Dawg!

Then we received a DOUBLE Rainbow into Horseshoe Falls! A gift from Ava! Look closely to the far right.

When Ava was fifteen, she and I were driving back from Florida. It was dusk and I wanted her to have some experience driving through the back roads. We saw the double rainbow and decided to pull on the side of the road. As she was pulling off, I said, “Be careful and don’t pull off too far…it drops…” Well, it did and we did! The right front of the car was in a ditch. I’m really mad because this is a back road where the curbs are pulled in at dusk and I’ll have to walk to a farm to get someone to get their truck or tractor to help us as there is no such thing as cell phones at this time…not for the general public, anyway! I sternly tell her to keep her bikini clad body IN THE CAR as I start hiking to the nearest farm.

About 500 yards into my hike, I look back at her and she’s doing exactly what I told her NOT to do and I see her perched on the back of the car. Trucks appear out of nowhere to rescue this damsel! I’m relieved but now anxious to get back to her. The men who stopped were wonderful. They pulled us out of the ditch in seconds and we were back on the road.

I believe the double rainbow for Mirjana and me was from Ava. She always wanted us to meet face-to-face and, yesterday, we finally did. Thank you Ava! We love you so much!