Archives for category: Baby Boomer
Such beauty and confidence!

Such beauty and confidence!

You know that sparkle in her eyes,
That something special that always glowed.
You heard that musical laughter
You could recognize across the room.

You know that love she held in her heart,
The one she held for you?
An unpretentious special part of her soul
That loved every living thing…warts and all.

It’s that warrior princess who would kill;
The fearless amazon ever ready to defend.
She kicked like a mule and as stubborn one as well.
Loyal and honest to a fault and oh so proud.

It’s getting close to being one year.
It’s another day for you without fear.
It’s my love that comes with the tear.
It’s your smell and hug I hold so dear.

I love you forever.

Belly dancing magic in 2002. She looks like she has wings. Maybe, now she does.

Belly dancing magic in 2002. She looks like she has wings. Maybe, now she does.

Yes. 2012 was incredible…incredible loss, incredible growth, incredible pain, incredible gain, incredible on so many levels I can’t even list them all here. I ran away for this first holiday season to save my soul from anticipated emptiness and loss during this first hallmark and it worked thanks to the love and support of Kimber, Angela, my friends, chirrens and family. Thank you all for standing by me when I was lost and loving me back into being found.

New Year’s Eve was scary. I’m still processing what triggered me into talking to myself out loud as I struggled with purchasing the one thing I wanted for my New Year’s Eve celebration…a small package of NutterButters. I found myself uttering sounds of disappointment and frustration which felt more like Ava than me which I couldn’t get rid of all night. It wasn’t until I saw her spouse’s announcement that he is now engaged to the woman who moved into Ava’s house just a couple of months after her death that helped me realize what was going on. I now know it was Ava’s way of letting me know of what was to come. The good news is that I didn’t have internet most of this week so I didn’t get the Facebook instant message. I got it twenty-four hours after the fact and one tortured night of wondering if I was losing my mind. The good news is that I usually know when she’s “visiting” me but because I was arm-wrestling with my brain over the events of last year, it threw me off a bit I cleared my head until to see what she was trying to say.

If this is your first time hearing about her visitations, I know it comes as a surprise. It doesn’t to me because we had a pact after Carl’s disappearance that we would maintain communication with each other after the first of us passed. She certainly has kept her promise. And, as long as she doesn’t scare me like she did in July, I’m good with it. I even look forward to it because it’s how she’s going to help me write the third portion of their book…the one about Carl, Ava and the hereafter.

On a lighter note, I wanted to share some photos from my trip.

Montana bird dogging a Blue Herron on New Year's Eve.

Montana bird dogging a Blue Herron on New Year’s Eve.

Last Florida sunset of 2012.

Last Florida sunset of 2012.

Think I wanna' do this every year!

Think I wanna’ do this every year!

First Florida sunset of 2013

First Florida sunset of 2013

Each year I get a message as to the challenges of the year. Last year was “faith” and, boy, was mine ever tested. “They” say that this year is “change” which doesn’t surprise me at all. After all, that’s life. I’m just trying to continue to work on my faith to help me get through the changes coming this year.

Happy New Year and Happy Trails.

I love this area of Florida so much that I’ve tried to buy a place every time I come down but things are just never right…either timing, or kids or work or money. Now it’s just money but I still look. I don’t even want to be on the beach…just close enough to smell the fresh salt air and feel it on my face.

First, however, I went to a little-known place called Cedar Key. It used to be a covey of very talented artists about twenty years ago. Now it’s just another snow bird nest. Lots and lots of condos have been built and they certainly cater to the winter flying birds. It’s still a nice place, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just not what I hoped it was. It had changed and I’m grieving over the loss of such a cozy community of varied talent.

Cedar Key

Cedar Key

You probably can't see them but there are HUNDREDS of pelicans perched on the pier just outside this restaurant in Cedar Key.

You probably can’t see them but there are HUNDREDS of pelicans perched on the pier just outside this restaurant in Cedar Key.

Montana didn’t know they were birds for the first few seconds during this shot…but…

Birds?

Birds?

We stayed one night only because we were ready to get some sugar white sand in between our toes! Whooohooo!

Where's Montana? On the beach!

Where’s Montana? On the beach!

Quit? Now? But there are more birds to bark at!

Quit? Now? But there are more birds to bark at!

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Montana running in the Gulf to chase down some birds!

Montana running in the Gulf to chase down some birds!

I have more of sunsets but can’t download them right now. They’ll be in the next post! We’re smiling!

Happy Trails!

I’ve never explored this are of Florida before this week but I must say I woulda’ shoulda’ coulda. I guarantee that I will explore it while I’m in the region. I usually stick close to the coast as most of us do but this inland region ain’t so bad.

Drive into the park

Drive into the park

Path toward the falls

Path toward the falls

Where you can swim in the spring waters!

Where you can swim in the spring waters!

Waterfalls

Waterfalls

Stream leading to the lake

Stream leading to the lake

Big falls

Big falls

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Where's Montana? In Rainbow Springs!

Where’s Montana? In Rainbow Springs!

Black water bird on limb just waiting for dinner!

Black water bird on limb just waiting for dinner!

Couldn't stop watching this bird. It totally blended in with its surroundings.

Couldn’t stop watching this bird. It totally blended in with its surroundings.

Can you see the bird? Hint: look left!

Can you see the bird? Hint: look left!

Please come along with me as I explore more of this wonderful area of our country! I must keep moving to find some peace before returning home. It’s critical to my mental health. I miss Ava so terribly that this is the only way I know to keep sane.

Happy Trails!

Patty wanted to see my favorite antebellum plantation in Nashville. And, because I’m memory challenged more this year than ever, I could only remember what it looked like from the road and that it started with a “B” so after driving all over Nashville to find the wrong one, we finally got to Belle Meade. Of course, they don’t put the GPS address on their brochures so we got lost amongst the synagogues and huge beautiful Buckhead-looking houses bt we did arrive.

We were able to walk around the grounds with Montana before the docent guided tour which did a world of good for us all. Days packed to the eyeballs in the truck meant we all bolted out of the truck like caged animals! Montana was so glad to smell grass and trees again (or the animals in them) that she didn’t take her nose from the ground until we made her go back into the truck!

Our first self-guided tour was at the original cabin built by John Harding in 1807. He and his wife started the legacy which became a world-famous horse breeding stable siring such famous horses as Secretariat, Seattle Slue and so many others that we can’t remember.

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This single couple created an empire from their strategically placed facilities where they carved out a cabin and a variety of services like blacksmith shop, gristmill, cotton gin and other services for the Chickasaw Trail which eventually became the Natchez Trace.

The John Harding’s eventually built the original plantation house.

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Patty and Montana in front of the Plantation house. No pictures could be taken on the inside of the house so you’ll have to go visit it yourself. It’s worth the trip.

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Montana at Belle Meade!IMG_4831BelleMeadeBkBack of Belle Meade Plantation house (as expanded by later generations). Belle Meade was managed by four generations of Harding’s. The final Harding died just a few months after his famous grandfather throwing the 5400 acre estate in serious financial difficulties. IMG_4832CoachHseA very small portion of the enormous coach house still full of sleighs, buggies and other related  memorabilia of the family and period.IMG_4839DollHseThe Victorian Dollhouse for the kids. I thought it very small in comparison. The children certainly didn’t rank as high as the company who visited who often received diamond earrings and stick pins as gifts at major celebrations. All children were in one small room off the major suite. IMG_4851.DairyJPGDairy house in same style as the main house.IMG_4852SlaveCabinThe most remarkable stories came from this slave cabin where, after the Civil War, key now freed slaves became the highest paid and valued employees of this huge enterprise called a plantation. Bob Green came to Belle Meade as a child whose knack for working with the horses was recognized and he not only lived with his family in the original cabin with his family but outlived all the Hardin’s. He was so loyal to his employers that, when financial difficulties meant selling off assets, he handed over his favorite saddle horse to be sold. It was bought for him for $25.00.What a lesson in history this one place it. I have only seen two other plantations worthy of this praise and they are in Vicksburg, Mississippi.

Tomorrow, we’re off to see the wizard!

Happy Trails!

The main reason we stayed over in Albuquerque was to see the Turquoise Museum and Old Town not to mention all the tornadoes, etc. east of here!

The Turquoise Museum was quite lovely. Apparently the guide’s great-grandfather collected over two million pounds of turquoise from all over the world and someone saw the marketing opportunities of charging $10.00 to see 1/10th of it. There’s history, geology, fakes and rarest of them all. It was ninety minutes of the youngest of the male family member’s quips and knowledge. He was seventeen and had obviously been involved with this obsession his whole life.

The surprise? over 95% of the turquoise sold is not the gemstone but some altered state of a less desirable white turquoise, which is so soft that it’s like chalk. Do a little magic with oil, plastic and heat and badda-bing, you have turquoise! I’m just sayin’!

The second part of the day was to visit Old Town. It’s small and quaint compared to the much more upscale Santa Fe. I loved walking around the square with Montana and Patty.

Montana didn't want to sit down on the wall because the shrubs were too scratchy so here was her solution!

Montana didn’t want to sit down on the wall because the shrubs were too scratchy so here was her solution!

Finally, I understood her concern and showed her where to sit. She had, by this point, collected her usual audience.

Finally, I understood her concern and showed her where to sit. She had, by this point, collected her usual audience.

Pat stooped down to hug Montana for the picture (something she had NEVER done before) and it surprised Montana so much that she immediately rolled over on her back! LOL

Pat stooped down to hug Montana for the picture (something she had NEVER done before) and it surprised Montana so much that she immediately rolled over on her back! LOL

Then, they both cooperate and we get the money shot!

Then, they both cooperate and we get the money shot!

Tomorrow? Down and dirty roadin’…Albuquerque to Oklahoma City.

Happy Trails!

Not wanting to go back to Santa Fe because Ava and I had been there the summer of 2011, we chose to stay last night somewhere we’d never been before…Los Alamos. We knew the name was “familiar” but sure didn’t remember it was the hub of activity during the 1940’s known for developing the atomic bombs (a/k/a Manhattan Project), attributed to ending World War II.

I simply chose it because it wasn’t Santa Fe. I kept picturing going back into Santa Fe where Ava fell in love with New Mexico and wanted to live and, the more I tried to see me there, the more I saw all that was going to happen was to make me lose myself in my pain. That wouldn’t be fair to Patty nor to me. After all, we were taking this road trip because I needed a break from all the stress of getting Ava’s Corner ready and kicked off. I wanted views and that’s why I chose Los Alamos.

As we drove at dusk up SR 4 toward Los Alamos, I was reminded of the fifteen-foot wide road through Zion National Park! I was driving on the very precipice of a hundred-foot drop to nowhere and I was scared. I have very debilitating vertigo, which Patty didn’t know until this moment.

I kept telling Patty, “I can’t do this! Really, I can’t do this!” My stomach had a constant roller-coaster-ride-like drops as my white knuckles clung to the steering wheel as if holding the wheel tighter would stop a three thousand pound truck from going over a cliff! Somehow, it did! LOL

Patty, on the other hand, kept singing, “She’ll be comin’ ’round the mountain when she comes” while I’m suffering. I don’t even remember her singing! Finally, we got to the top and stayed in the worst Motel 6 I’ve ever stayed in. The town is cute and we even enjoyed their Christmas parade as we walked Montana, but their Motel 6 needs to be razed!

This morning, we realized we had to drive back down the way we came up. I explained to Patty that going down next to the wall is totally different from driving up next to the cliff. We pulled over for a few view shots and, before we knew it, we were safely at the bottom! We both were amazed at the time-lapse difference! It felt like a thirty-minute drive up and a ten minute drive down!

The drive down SR 4 leaving this morning

The drive down SR 4 leaving this morning

Magnificent views

Magnificent views

Did I mention snow was coming in?

Did I mention snow was coming in?

After getting to Albuquerque, we settled into our new Motel 6 and headed for the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center. It’s one of the best I’ve ever seen. I try to go into at least one every trip and this was a must.

Tomorrow, we go to the Turquoise Museum and Old Town!

We decided to stay over an extra night to rest up for the haul back to Tennessee. I’m glad Patty talked me into doing that.

Happy Trails!

I can’t resist driving through southwestern Colorado. I even considered moving there during my journey with Ava through this part of our country in 2011. We both fell in love with it but Ava wanted to move to Santa Fe and I wanted to move to SW Colorado. It would be right in the middle for me…between her and Mandy, my God Daughter, in Boulder. So, when I had a chance to go back through here  and share it with my BFF, Pat (now and forever Patty since she made the mistake of telling me of her childhood nickname), I took her the scenic route up Hwy.160 & Hwy. 84 (a real back road) and down into New Mexico on another beautiful back road Hwy. 64.

Southwestern Colorado

Southwestern Colorado

Pasture, Mountains, Sky..oh my!

Pasture, Mountains, Sky..oh my!

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Blues and purples

Blues and purples of New Mexico

No words...climbing up Hwy. 64 in New Mexico

No words…climbing up Hwy. 64 in New Mexico

Just had to pull off for this shot! No 80 MPH pix on this road! LOL

Just had to pull off for this shot! No 80 MPH pix on this road! LOL

After all this majestic beauty, we found ourselves in the middle of something I’d never seen before. People by the hundreds (or maybe thousands) parked FOR MILES up and down the main road of Espanola, NM (Hwy. 84) in RV’s, trucks, vans, cars, popup campers, fifth wheels excitedly awaiting something…but what?

This was toward the end of the route where the smaller vehicles were parked.

This was toward the end of the route where the smaller vehicles were parked.

As we drove, the signs put up by the police indicated an “event” and to “seek an alternative route” for which there was none for us. I just pushed through the insanity and buzz of excitement with the ferocity of a madwoman driving through Atlanta rush hour traffic. My truck is big and bad, Montana’s head out the window barking at bicycles (whose nickname is now “Killer”) and Patty’s head spinning at wonderment as we joked, laughed and couldn’t wait to find out what the big deal was.

Lo and behold, I guessed it.

IMG_4806Espanola

They were waiting for the CHRISTMAS PARADE! What a surprise! This big hoopla over a Christmas parade. I LOVE IT! I wanted to stay but there was no place to park! Every single person living in Espanola (10,000 population) came for this!

Got safely outta’ there and back to the surreal beauty of the setting sun.

How's this for dusk in New Mexico?

How’s this for dusk in New Mexico?

Sun setting New Mexico

Sun setting New Mexico

And....sunset!

And….sunset!

What an amazing day! Tomorrow, Albuquerque! Can’t wait.

Happy Trails!

We stayed in Tuba City, AZ last night in the Navajo Reservation. Ava and I had stayed there ten years ago on our spiritual quest and boy, has it ever changed since then! Now there’s commerce and restaurants! Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing between it and the turn off for Four Corners but amazing scenery. Enjoy!

Road to Four Corners

Road from Tuba City to Four Corners has nothing but great scenery!

scenery

near Monument Valley

Near Monument Valley on Hwy 160 East

Monument Valley

This is exactly what Monument Valley looks like! So cool seeing these remaining vestiges of another time.

My BFF, Pat, at Four Corners

My BFF, Pat standing on the Four Corners.

Four Corners

 

THE Four Corners

 

Montana's saying, "Can you BELIEVE this sign? What's wrong with these people? Don't they know who I am?" LOL

Montana was so upset over this sign. She couldn’t believe they would keep her from this most historic site. She’s been allowed everywhere else!

Do you see Montana is breaking her pose? WHY? Because Aunt Patty is walking toward her. It's like Montana is saying, "I forgot Aunt Pat is here too?"

Montana losing her pose because Aunt Patty is walking toward her. It’s like Montana was saying, “Hey, Grandma! I forgot Aunt Patty is here!”

Dusk at the Four Corners

Dusk at the Four Corners

Santa Fe tomorrow!

Happy Trails!

Ava and I took a spiritual journey in 2002 across the Navajo Reservation. It was a little over two years after we’d found Carl and we needed this adventure. We drove into Window Rock, explored Canyon De Chelly, Four Corners, Monument Valley, South Rim of the Grand Canyon, Flagstaff, Sedona, Petrified Forest and more in five days. It was an amazing adventure that kicked her back into play and gave her what she needed to focus on school again.

Well, it’s been ten years and my best friend, Pat, and I explored the South Rim today. I felt Ava with me all day long…as if she was saying, “Oh, remember this Mom?” Made me sweet sad. We’re even staying at the Quality Inn in Tuba City where we stopped on our way west to the Grand Canyon. This time, Pat and I are heading east…east toward Georgia. But, first we have to revisit southwest Colorado where Ava and I drooled the whole time we drove those back roads just one year ago.

So, for today, here’s our journey. A magnificent time-lapse of life.

Grand Canyon - South Rim

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Sun dappled Canyon

Postcard gorgeous!

Where's Montana? At the Grand Canyon! She was a hit again! People coming up wanting their pictures taken with her!

Sunset over the Canyon